Visitors this week

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Joy

This week in Advent the focus is on joy. But, joy is sort of a mixed bag, at least for me. For instance, last night I took my 13-year-old son to his 8th grade dance. I didn't dare go inside when I dropped him off, but when I returned to pick him up, the teacher insisted that all the other parents were inside in the back watching, and that I should go in. So, I did. And there he was, having a great time with his friends. I smiled as I talked with the other parents, and then my mind was suddenly transported back through time to Richland Country Club in Nashville Tennessee, where I was dancing with my 3-year-old son and my 7-year-old daughter to KC and the Sunshine Band. I looked down at my children, their eyes wide and smiles huge, as we joined hands and danced Greek-style in a circle with the other guests. And then it was 3 years later, and as a single mother I put on a CD in our small townhouse in Greenville SC and we danced before dinner. Then just as suddenly, I was jolted back into the present when I saw my now almost grown son gesture that I should meet him outside to leave. (Can't be seen walking out of a dance with your mother!)

I felt joy dancing at the country club with my small angels. I felt joy being silly in the kitchen in Greenville with my young children. I felt joy as I watched my handsome, gentle, teenage son with his friends. And I fought back tears as I realized that with each joy comes a passing of time that can't be stopped. No matter how much I want to freeze those moments of joy in time, I cannot.

I remind myself that living in true joy is not living in the past. Joy is not just in memory, although many of our memories bring remembrances of joyful times. Nor is living in true joy simply hoping for joy in the future. Living in true joy, the way God intends for us to live, is to find joy in the moment, whatever the moment brings us, even if that moment brings the understanding that things are changing, and people are growing, perhaps in the direction of independence from us. And so last night, even as I watched my son take yet another step toward adulthood and independence, I felt joy - joy for him that he is who he is - joy for me that I am able to see him, and my beautiful daughter, grow and mature - and joy at the honor of sharing their journeys. Being their mom is my greatest joy.

Blessings,
Teresa

Friday, December 5, 2008

Thoughts on Advent

We are now approaching the second Sunday in Advent, with an emphasis this week on peace. I sometimes think it's very difficult to find peace in a world filled with chaos. On Black Friday, a temp worker was crushed to death at a Walmart in suburban New York. Innocent people were murdered by terrorists in Mumbai. A man in Atlanta was arrested after beating his dog in a public park with a sledge hammer. Many of my parishoners are struggling with employment issues, financial upheaval, and a tumultuous economy. Peace? Hardly. How do we find peace at Christmastime, or, the better question I believe, how can we be peacemakers in a time where little peace can be found?

I recently took a vow of non-violence in my thoughts, actions, and words. I have to admit, I'm not a very violent person to begin with, at least in my actions. But since taking that vow, I find that I say, do, and think little things that are violent, or at the very least, not peaceful. If the driver in front of me cuts me off, or is driving erratically or slowly, I find myself getting agitated and thinking things that aren't peaceful or kind! The other night, as I sat at my desk at work, one of our dogs started sniffing and circling and acting as if he might do something forbidden in the floor, which he's done twice this week already, and I said “Buck, don't you dare! I'll kill you!” My son, Andrew, looked up from his homework and said gently, “Mom...no you won't.” And I realized that even in that (sort of) joke, I had broken my vow of non-violence in my words. I could have made another choice. I could have chosen to realize that maybe I hadn't paid as much attention to Buck as I should have and that maybe he had been trying to tell me for a while that he needed to go out. I could have reacted with compassion rather than irritation. I could have stopped to think that a ten and a half year old Golden Retriever might need to go out a little more than he used to.

We each have a choice this Advent season. We can choose to get caught up in the madness of life and holiday, or we can consciously choose to live in peace, in our homes, at our jobs, and in our public lives. I encourage each of you to take a vow of non-violence, and promise you that it will enhance the peace you feel in your hearts and minds, as well as bring peace to the world around you.

Blessings for a peaceful holiday season.
Teresa

Monday, November 17, 2008

Raising Expectations

I've been thinking a lot lately about expectations. Many of us go into the holiday season with high expectations. This year, everything will be perfect. We'll get the perfect tree and put perfect decorations on it. We'll buy perfect gifts and the recipients will show great joy and gratitude. This year, no one will get the flu on Christmas Eve. This year the Advent wreath in the church will have candles that do not burn out in the middle of the service. You know the drill.

I've often been accused of having very high, some might say impossibly high, expectations of myself and of imposing those high standards on others. I guess I can't argue with that. But without expectations, how can we grow? If we don't exercise, we can't get stronger or faster or healthier. If we don't exercise our intellectual muscle, we stagnate and become boring, unable to talk about current issues or integrate increasingly complex ideas. If we don't exercise our spiritual muscle, we run the risk of being like the third servant in the Matthew text about talents, and just maintaining the status quo rather than growing in our faith and service.

But expectations must also be realistic. Just as the master in Matthew assigned each worker with the amount of talents that he felt they could responsibly handle, so must we understand our own limitations, while still striving to push ourselves to be the best we can be, and to use our many and diverse gifts and tools to live faithfully in God's world.

Blessings,
Teresa

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Push and Pull

This week is spring break for my children, so I'm with them at the beach. My daughter is a teenager and about to head off to college (in a little over a year) and my son is in middle school. He still likes to play with mom. My daughter, on the other hand, is happier with the teenage best girl friend she brought with her, and I understand that, although I don't have to like it.

As we sat on the beach yesterday, I watched a young mother (at least she looked young to ME, but then my idea of young is changing...) in a full-blown, all out, verbal altercation with her teenage son. They were standing about a foot apart, and both were making full eye contact. I couldn't hear what they were saying (although from all the gesturing and animation I can guess) but the son wasn't backing down at all and the mother was holding her ground as well. There was a good bit of finger pointing on the part of the mother. The son listened, interrupted infrequently (to his credit), and then responded, although it seemed not to be the response the mother desired. I had to smile, but it was a smile through a tear. I was also watching a number of parents with VERY young children. The children would sometimes run into the surf, then back to "home base" for reassurance. Some of them stuck close to mom or dad, and in a few instances at least, the parents seemed desperate for some "adult" time. I even heard one dad begging, with the offer of a huge bribe, if the trio of teen girls in front of us would babysit that evening! I remember those days as if they were yesterday, and I'm living the teen years with my own children now.

It's push pull isn't it? We push, they pull. We pull, they push. Growing up is a series of tug of wars as children seek and find independence, and parents first provide security, then opportunities for maturation. What brought the tear to my eye was the realization that for a long time now, I've been doing most of the pulling, and my oldest has been pushing off hard.

Do I miss the days when I couldn't have an adult conversation that wasn't interrupted with "Mommy! Watch this!" Yes, I do. I was never the parent that couldn't wait until my children were grown and out of the house. I am the parent that dreads that journey to the dorm with a van full of luggage and furniture.

Push and pull. I think it's like that with us and God. God pulls us to God, and yet we, in our quest for independence, push away. Remember how good it felt to be a child and run into the loving arms of a parent? Remember, if you are a parent, how good it felt to have your child look up at you with such love and trust as you gathered them into your arms?

Why do we fight God so hard? I don't know, but I am thankful every day that God keeps pulling us toward the unending and unconditional source of mercy and love.

Teresa

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Maundy Thursday

Today we reach the time on the Christian calendar known as Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday. This is a very significant day for several reasons. Many churches hold special services on this evening. Some include footwashing (as a remembrance of Jesus' washing of the disciple's feet at the Last Supper), some observe Holy Communion (since Jesus instutitued this sacrament at the Last Supper with the sharing of the bread and wine and his instructions to the disciples) and some with a very moving service that includes removing items from the sanctuary (called "stripping the altar), such as candles, Communion elements, etc., draping the cross in black or gray fabric, and gradually lowering the lights until darkness is achieved, as a remembrance of the suffering of Jesus in his arrest and death on the cross, with everyone leaving the church in silence. The altar remains barren until Easter morning. It's a powerful service.

For me, Maundy Thursday is a day for somber reflection. I often think of the ways I have failed to honor the sacrifice of Jesus. How have I failed to love myself? How have I failed to love others? When have I missed an opportunity to serve those less fortunate? How have a squandered the earth's resources? It sounds gloomy, doesn't it? But, it's not really. I don't beat myself up, but I do offer up an honest apology to God for those times that I have failed to be the person God created me to be. I do think about the fact that God became a human being, and lived on this earth to teach us more about God's own nature, and gave us lessons on how to live, and yet we still don't get it right. We still put Jesus on the cross because that message of radical love and service was so threatening that we couldn't hear it then and we have trouble with it now because it flies in the face of everything else that the world promotes. And I let my heart break for Jesus' suffering, and for the ongoing suffering of the world, and hope that this will be the year that I get it right....or more right. Today I let myself feel grief - grief for the death of Jesus and grief for our human failures. I can't get to Easter and the forgiveness and hope of the resurrection until I honor what has gotten us to that day. Too often we skip right from Christmas and the birth of Jesus right to Easter and the promise of new life without stopping to think about all that happened in between. Then, to me, it's a "false spring."

So, today, allow yourself to feel pain and loss and sadness as you remember what we did to Jesus, who only came to us in total love. And remember that on Sunday, we will gather to celebrate the fact that no matter how dark the day, God gives us the gift of forgiveness and love and hope.

Teresa

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Cheating during Lent

We've looked at why some people choose to "give up" something during Lent, and other to "take on" something during Lent. But, what happens when we "cheat" during Lent? Let's say you've given up honking your horn at other drivers for Lent, but this morning, during the thunderstorm, you discovered your usual route was blocked by downed tree limbs, so you had to take an alternate route, and it was CONGESTED with drivers like you who don't normally take that route. There was confusion and frustrations ran high, and before you knew it, you hit the horn at that driver on their cell phone who caused you to have to sit through the light because of their lack of attention. What now?

Welcome to humanity! We are not perfect people, and the purpose of Lent is not to make us perfect. Rather, Lent affords us the opportunity to examine our lives and make a concentrated effort to be better people and live in kinder, gentler ways. We are not God, we are simply endeavoring to become more like God in the way we treat ourselves and others. So, while you should be aware that you have broken your Lenten promise, it's not a matter of life and death (unless you scared the other driver so much you caused an accident!). Just use the opportunity to observe in yourself what you did and resolve to not let it happen again. Lent is a journey and sometimes the path forks alongs the way. Just keep your eye on where you want to end up (a loving and peaceful person who is part of a loving and peaceful world) and if you get off track, just get back on!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hunger

Yesterday we looked at gratitude, particularly as it regards food. Today, I want to look at hunger. It goes without saying that there is a lot of hunger in the world. Some of this hunger is for basic nourishment. We sometimes think of the hungry and starving people in developing countries, or in homeless camps in our cities, and we are called, as Christians, to try to alleviate hunger in the world. No one should ever have to go to bed with an empty belly. Many of us make an intentional effort to focus on this type of hunger during Lent and often make special donations to feed the hungry. This is something we should and must do during Lent and year round.

However, today I want you to reflect on a different type of hunger. I know all of you, so I think I can safely say you all have plenty to eat. But we all have a hunger inside. What do you hunger for? What is missing in your life? Do you long for something you can name? Or is your longing nebulous and frustrating?

Sometimes I wander into the kitchen at night and just open the refridgerator or the pantry and stand there and stare into them. I want something, but I can't always put my finger on what it is I want. Sometimes I know I want something sweet. Othertimes salty. Most times I have no idea. I usually end up settling for something that ends up being unsatisfying.

Lent is an excellent time to figure out what it is you hunger for. Do you long for a creative outlet? Do you hunger for a passionate relationship or for renewed passion in your existing relationships? Are you wandering about from volunteer job to committee to organization and yet you find your work unsatisfying?

Often we know something is missing, but we can't quite put our finger on what it is that we want. Reflect for a time today on what it is you hunger for, and then ask God to open the doors that will lead you to satiation. Then resolve to stop using your resources and precious energies on those things that bring you no satisfaction, and focus on the thing that you really hunger for.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Spiritual Disciplines and Gratitude

I've tossed around the term "spiritual discipline" a few times during this Lenten season, so I'd like to clarify what I mean. A spiritual discipline is any habit or activity done with intention that helps us be more "in touch" with our spirituality and with God. During Lent, many of us choose one discipline (like fasting, prayer, self-denial, service to the marginalized, etc.) to focus on in order to try to integrate it into our lives in order to become more spiritually connected.

It really matters not which of the disciplines you choose for your Lenten focus. What matters is that you practice it on a consistent basis for the 40 days of Lent. One discipline that I have found to be particularly meaningful for me is the practice of giving thanks for meals. This does not have to be done in a public or showy way, in fact scripture specifically instructs that our prayers should be private, however it is important that it be done with intentionality. You don't have to bow your head or join hands at the table (although there is certainly nothing wrong with doing those things and in fact, that can be a lovely and meaningful moment with those with whom you are sharing your meal) or make a big deal about it, just offer up a word or thought of gratitude.

I think it's great to be thankful that we have food on the table, but what I really connect with is the realization, at each meal, that there are many people who are instrumental in delivering this food to me. I try to remember to be grateful for the farmers who grow the food, the workers who harvest the food, nature for supplying the sun and the rain to nourish the food, the people who process and package the food, the truck drivers who ferry the food to the store, the workers in the store who stock the food, the clerk who puts the food in the bag, etc., even the government workers who try to keep our food supplies safe. A meal becomes almost a song of praise to God for the beautiful system we have here in the US for food. Of course it's not flawless, but there are lots of people who work in beautiful concert to feed us, and saying thanks before a meal should encompass something greater than just being thankful that you are not hungry. Now, I don't necessarily go through that entire list of people in my mind every time I pray my thanks at mealtime, but I do try to be conscious and aware of how many people are involved in getting my food to the table, and I am grateful to them.

So tonight, as you sit down to your meal, offer up a little prayer of gratitude not only for the abundance of your food, but also for all the folks who get it to you. If you do this for the period of Lent, it will grow in your heart an appreciation for others who help to provide nourishment for your body, and this in turn, will nourish you on your spiritual journey.

With a grateful heart.
Teresa

Monday, February 18, 2008

What difference does Lent make?

So we've been focusing on some of the "tools" used during Lent to assist us in introspection about ourselves and our part in the global and universal good, but really, why does it matter? Can one person really make a difference in this world? You may be thinking, "Sure, if you are Mother Teresa or the president of the United States, or someone really important, but just the average person? Nah." Well, I disagree.

There have been a few people in my life who had a tremendously positive influence on me. I'm sure you can think of a few in your own life if you try. Sometimes I think about how my life might have gone if I had not had those people in my life, or if they had not been the positive and loving influences they've been, and I think I can say with confidence that the world would have been a very different place if those people had not interacted with me the way they did.

It's like a ripple effect in a still pond. If you toss a pebble in the middle of the pond, no matter how small the pebble, you'll see rings ripple out all across the surface of the pond. Fish are darting, tiny single-celled creatures are activated. Maybe one of those fish that darts away from the disturbance of the ripple sees an insect on the surface of the pond and eats it. The insect's life is forever changed! Maybe the insect is a mosquito. Since it was eaten, maybe it never bites the man standing by the pond. Maybe the mosquito carries West Nile virus. Since it never bites the man he doesn't get sick. I can continue, but I think you get the point. One person can and does make a difference in the life of others. We don't even always know how or what we do, but what we do matters. That's why it's so important to take an inventory of who we are and how we act with others, and to strive to be the best we can be all the time. Because you just never know.

I'll give you a for instance from my life. As a young wife several years ago, I was thrilled to find out that after months of trying, I was pregnant. However, things did not go well, and after a long hospitalitzation, I gave birth to a son who died very shortly thereafter. For weeks a young female minister from my church had been visiting me in the hospital. Sometimes she would just sit with me and we would talk about nothing really. Other times we would talk about my fears and frustrations with the pregnancy. She officiated my son's funeral on a cold, rainy December day - just me, my husband, and Louise. She said the only real words of comfort I had during that dark time in my life, and even though we would go our separate ways and it would be 15 years before our paths would cross again, she had a profound impact on my life without even being aware of it. When I graduated from Emory with a master's in theology, I wrote to tell her what she had meant to me, and to thank her. I am a minister today partly as the result of her influence. She had no idea. You just never know when your kindness, your patience, your advice, your listening skills, your donation of money, etc., are going to save a life or radically change a life.

That's why it's so important to keep a "holy Lent" where you give sincere and conscious effort to becoming the loving member of this world that God wants. You just never know.

Be blessed, and be a blessing to others.
Teresa

Friday, February 15, 2008

Flaws

So after we've taken our "fearless moral inventory" what happens when we discover those actions, prejudices, and character flaws? Lent is the time to really focus on developing new habits and becoming better people in order to make the world better. In this way, we participate in the Kingdom of God, which is another way of saying the world in which God intends for us to live.

Today, pick one thing you do and focus on it. Maybe you have a quick temper. Maybe you drive aggressively or will never let anyone cut in front of you. Maybe you overspend then lie to your spouse about it. Maybe you work too much and don't spend enough time with those you love. Maybe you are critical of others. Whatever it is you feel you would like to change, pick that one thing and focus the next month on just that. This is a fairly common way to approach a Lenten discipline. Be mindful about your focus and try to proactively stop yourself from doing the offending action. Many people feel it is helpful to wear a rubber band around their wrist as a reminder of their commitment to change. Others pick a specific time each day (say on the hour) to spend a moment reflecting on their goal in order to strengthen their resolve. Some have a small coin bank and put in a specific amount of money each time they do the offence then donate the money to the church or a charity at Easter. All of these tools work and are merely ways to reinforce our journey to our goal. And remember...what is our goal? Our goal is to remember Christ's sacrifice for us, to strive to become more like Christ, and to participate as fully as possible in being the people God designed us to be. Love ourselves, love others, and love God.

Lent is a focused time to work on becoming the beautiful loving creations that God intends.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Detours

I'm taking a detour on the Lenten Meditation road today. I want you to use this day to really spend some time in deep self-reflection to try to identify those issues we've been talking about for the past week. Write down at least 5 things you want to change about yourself, or 5 negative "scripts" you let dominate your thinking, then rank them, beginning with the one that you feel would change your life most down to the least significant one. After you've done this, find a quiet place, practice your deep breathing, close your eyes, then go down your list one by one starting at the top and ask God to bless you with a new strength and clarity of purpose as you spend the next month focusing on redirecting your energy toward a more positive world in which YOU contribute your best self, your most holy self, to love and peace. Try to do this at least 3 times today. And on this day when we celebrate "romantic" love, remember that you cannot fully participate in romantic love, love of neighbor, love of stranger, or love of God until you really love yourself. So, ask God to guide you on this path, then do something nice for YOURSELF today. You are part of God's beautiful and loving creation. Celebrate that today!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Old Scripts

Today we continue to look at how taking a "fearless moral inventory" is helpful during Lent. Until we come to terms with who we are and what we think and do that separates us from God and each other, we can't fully live the lives God intends for us.

Yesterday I mentioned that we all have old "scripts" in our minds, and that sometimes this interferes with us loving ourselves and others. This is often the most difficult part of taking a good look at ourselves. Some of us have scripts that are so powerful and so habitual that we can't really look at who we are, we just blindly accept what the script tells us. For example, I know a man who is intelligent, kind, and has great potential, but he made some serious mistakes in the past, and even as a small child his mother told him he was bad, and stupid, and selfish. Even though he's "learned" from his mistakes, he can't see past them and seems to review his old script, or self, in his mind. He still "sees" himself as that lost, destructive, mistake-making person who hurt his family and those he loved. He's in a sort of "arrested development" and it's holding him back from being the man he was designed by God to be.

I have those fights with myself too, but with different issues. We all do. Maybe you struggled with your weight as a child, or were a bed-wetter, or were bad in math, or someone told you once that you had no artistic ability, and you bought into that as your identity. Now, you almost feel as if you're "hiding" your true self from others, just pretending to be the "together, competent, professional, smart" or whatever other label you're assumed. Well maybe you really ARE that "together" person now. Maybe you need to let go of that old script that keeps you down.

There are some great therapies that can help you do this, and many have been helped through guided imagery and/or hypnosis, but you can start today, right now, by looking deeply into yourself and trying to identify those negative scripts you run in your head about yourself, and then finding some words of affirmation to counter them. One that I like to use is "God created me, and all of God's creation is good. I am a beautiful and loving part of God's creation." You come up with your own. Just remember to use it whenever you find yourself buying into the negative thoughts you have about yourself. Thoughts and words are powerful. Try to keep your thoughts and words positive and affirming, both to yourself and to others. Make this part of your Lenten practice. Try being only affirming and positive from now until Easter and I can almost guarantee it will change the way you interact with the world.

Tomorrow we take a different turn and discuss how to deal with those truly negative attributes and actions we have. What if your moral inventory reveals to you that you behave in ways that are hurtful to those around you, or even to yourself? What then?

Wishing you a blessed and holy Lent.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Looking Deeply

So today we continue to look at how we take a "fearless moral inventory" of our lives in order to remove those obstacles that keep us from being the people God intends us to be.

As I mentioned yesterday, this idea of an inventory is borrowed from AA's 12-Step Program (but has strong scriptural roots!). Here is what the Big Book says:

"A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations." -A.A. Big Book p.64

That has always been a powerful bit of writing to me. What we must ask ourselves, I think, is do we underestimate who we are or overestimate who we are? Do we magnify every character (and physical) flaw, or do we minimize our shortcomings? And do we even have the ability to know which we do? In other words, are we lying TO ourselves ABOUT ourselves? That's where the fearless moral inventory comes in. Lent is a great time to really search our souls, to look deeply inside ourselves and honestly assess who we are. Sometimes we don't like what we see. Other times we may discover that because of old scripts in our minds, we're unnecessarily hard on ourselves. This moral inventory is critical to starting to love ourselves, and to target specific traits we wish to improve. It's also a time to really understand God's grace and mercy. God loves us in spite of our flaws and foibles, but also enables us to become better through the life, teachings, example, and grace of Christ.

One good way to begin this moral inventory is to set aside at least 10-15 minutes each day to spend in meditation. Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable spot, but not so comfortable that you fall asleep! Take some deep, calming breaths. Close your eyes. (For an excellent article on breathing, go to http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/ART00521.) Then just spend some quiet time with yourself. If your mind wanders to other people or circumstances, dismiss those thoughts and bring your mind back around to yourself. Really try to look at your actions, your attitudes, and your emotions and begin to look at those parts of yourself that you feel need some work. Do this each morning for the first couple of weeks of Lent. During the day, be intentional about your actions and reactions. If you become angry or sad or frustrated or irritated or judgmental, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself if you are manifesting the person you want to be, your best self, the creation that God intends you to be, full of love for self, for God, and for others. And remember, you can't control anyone else, but you can control your own actions and reactions.

Lastly, before you go to sleep at night, ask God to reveal to you God's love for you so that you can show that love to yourself and to others.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Lent-Fearless Moral Inventory

One of the traditions of the Twelve Step Program in AA is to take a “fearless moral inventory” of your life. I think this is something everyone should do on a regular basis, and Lent is the perfect time to do so.

What does it mean, exactly, to take this “fearless moral inventory”? I suggest setting aside 20 minutes each morning or last thing at night to really spend some time with yourself, looking at who you are and what you want to change about yourself. Some things might be obvious. For instance, I have an ongoing challenge being patient. I don’t have to look very deeply into myself to know that I am not a patient person with others or with myself. I know this is something I need to work on changing. And, in moments when I forget this, I have two very bright and articulate children who remind me! You may have something obvious like this in your life. Maybe you are quick to anger, or maybe you overspend your budget (or don’t HAVE a budget!) on a regular basis, or maybe you eat for comfort, or…you get the idea. Lent is an excellent time to really take stock of those areas of your life that need to be addressed.

But maybe some of the work you need to do lies underneath the obvious. Maybe impatience and irritability are symptoms of an underlying medical or psychological issue that should be addressed. Maybe the overspending or overeating are things you do to seek comfort because of a broken relationship or a poor self-image. Maybe the procrastination about cleaning out your closet is grounded in financial insecurity, or selfishness, or fear. Lent is the time when we look deeply and honestly at ourselves and identify those areas where we know there is work left undone.

A “fearless moral inventory” is when we really look at who we are and ask ourselves if we are the people that God created us to be. God created us to love ourselves, to love each other, and to love God. What in your life is standing in the way of this love?

Tomorrow we will explore specific ways to take this inventory and begin to work through the issues and challenges that keep us from being the loving creations that God intends.

(p.s. I’ve been called to jury duty this week, so please bear with me. I’ll either have time to write a lot everyday because I’m sitting in the assembly room, or be running behind on everything because I’ve been seated on a jury!)

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Purple?

The Christian calendar is divided into seasons with accompanying feasts, observances, and colors. This is usually referred to as a liturgical year. Many churches follow the Revised Common Lectionary as well, which runs in 3 year cycles (years A, B, and C) and provides a systematic way of approaching scripture for use in teachings, devotionals, and other applications. (More on this when I do my blog on the lectionary!) You may notice when passing some churches this time of year that there is a cross outside draped in purple fabric. Purple is the traditional color for Lent. Purple symbolizes royalty and is a recognition of the unique person of Jesus as God incarnate, "king" and long-awaited Messiah-the Christ. Purple is also a symbol for the pain and suffering of Jesus in the time leading up to his crucifixion and also calls us to recognize the suffering of humanity.

Many churches also use purple vestments (garments worn by clergy) and paraments (fabric used in altar arrangements on lecturns, pulpits, and the altar table) during Lent.

Later in the season, just before Easter, the purple is replaced with either black or gray. I will explain more about this later, but if you are able, please plan to attend a Maundy Thursday (also known as Holy Thursday) or Tenebrae service and witness this dramatic and very moving service. More on this later.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Fasting

Many people focus on prayer, fasting, and giving to charities, or almsgiving, during Lent. For most, fasting takes the form of "giving up" a particular food or treat, such as meat, alcohol, candy and sweets, etc. For some people, fasting is both a constant reminder that we are preparing for Easter, and also a way to, in some very small way, participate in suffering. But fasting has merit and value that can be profound.

I think fasting, in some form, is a very valuable spiritual practice, during Lent and all year. Some recent studies have shown that fasting one day a month is even good for your health. (Click here for a CNN article on fasting and heart health.) Given our heavy Western diet, taking a day off here and there and letting our bodies rest seems wise. Given the increased energy it takes to produce meat, it seems that abstaining from eating meat once a week (or more) is an easy way to stand in solidarity with the poor and hungry. If you donate the money you save from a weekly or monthly fast (or abstinance from meat) to your local food bank or world hunger organization, you can and will make a significant difference in feeding the hungry. So, fasting is good for you as an individual, good for the world, and acts as a reminder of the suffering of Jesus as well as bringing you in concert with the suffering of others in the world.

So during the next days leading up to Easter, I encourage you to integrate some form of fasting into your daily life. And when you do eat, really think about where your food comes from and feel gratitude for the farmers and other laborers who grow your food and deliver it to you. When you deny yourself something you really want, stop and take a moment to remember that there are people across the world, and right in your community, who are consistently and chronically hungry, and consider a donation of food or money to the food bank.

I have found that fasting can be healing, challenging, and personally transforming. I hope you will explore this wonderful spiritual practice.

If you want to know more about fasting and how to fast safely, please click here for an excellent article from Vanderbilt University on fasting which includes some great links.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Why 40 Days?

The season of Lent spans a 40 day period beginning on Ash Wednesday and ending the Saturday before Easter. Now, if you're astute about the calendar, you may realize that there are more than 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter! That's because the 6 Sundays that occur during this time are not counted. (That's why you may hear a reference to the Sundays in Lent, rather than the Sundays of Lent.)

40 is also just a very significant number in biblical literature. For instance, scriptures tells us that Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness struggling with temptation, before the Great Flood it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, etc. What I also find significant is that most personal trainers, psychologists, and coaches will tell you that it takes between 30 and 40 days (give or take a few) to "re-train" yourself in a new habit. So, if you decide to eat healthier, or start exercising, or commit to floss your teeth every day, it takes somewhere around 40 days to really get that routine ingrained in your life. So when we commit to a spiritual habit for 40 days, we may actually be able to integrate that into ourselves in a meaningful and significant way.

Next time, I'll talk about some of the things that people "give up" or "take on" for Lent, and how they can be excellent tools for the transformation of our lives.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Lent-Ash Wednesday

Today is the first day of the season of Lent. There is a good bit of confusion about what Lent is, so over the next 40 days leading up to Easter, I will share with you some of the history of Lent, but more importantly, I will offer you some suggestions about how to observe Lent and why I think it's important. I will make these musings brief, and encourage you to send me any questions you may have.

Lent originated in the 4th century, and was initially a time for people who were to be baptized at Easter to prepare for their baptism. Since baptism is an act of introduction into a community of faith, (more on this when I do my series on baptism!), the entire community was called to this "time of preparation." Additionally, those people who had been removed from the fellowship of the church (for a number of reasons that are not particularly important for us to get into at this time) were also called to this time of self-examination, prayer, fasting, and introspection before their re-introduction to the church.

Many of you know that today is Ash Wednesday, and you may see people walking around with black marks on their foreheads! Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, and the ashes symbolize our humility before God, and our recognition that we are mortal. It is a time when we reflect on what we need to change in our lives in order to be the person that God intends us to be, to live responsibly and lovingly as a member of the created world. I hope you'll join me as we look more deeply at the observance of Lent over the next 40 days, take a fearless moral inventory of our lives, and look for ways to find more love, peace, and fulfillment in our lives. I look forward to making this journey with each of you.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Living Richly

Today I had the delight of meeting a new friend - one of those people who is so refreshing, grounded, and accessible that it just makes the day seem...richer. When I got home, I started thinking about what it is to live richly. Lately it seems that every time I turn on the television or read the on-line news services, there is nothing but impending financial doom. From rumors of recession to the crash of the real estate market, to record numbers of forclosures to escalating consumer debt, many of us are finding ourselves watching our pennies and trimming our budgets. What does it mean to live richly?

Last year my family became a statistic. My husband became a casuality of the downturn in the real estate market and lost his job as a title examiner, a job that had provided quite nicely for our creature comforts. We started looking for creative ways to live well in spite of this misfortune, and found that we could feed our gardening habit by exchanging plants, bartering for plants, and shopping the "soon to be thrown out" bins at the local gardening center. In this process, we even made some new friends - fellow gardening junkies - and in spite of the job situation, we ended up with a lovely garden (until the drought, but that's for another post...) We also started to shop smarter, and connected with a network of fellow cheapies and found that it's almost fun (and somewhat competitive) to see who can purchase the most food for the least money. In fact, we got so good at this that we have been able to pretty consistently donate several bags of food to a local ministry. We lived richly, not just in that we were able to more or less maintain our "standard of living" while my husband was under-employed, but in the connections and friendships that were established. And we were humbled. We became more compassionate, more generous with our resources, more aware of our over-consumption, and more creative and intentional in our use of time and money. We discovered that we lived more "in community" than we had in the recent past, and were thankful that we had food on our table and a roof over our heads. And we found our hearts broken - broken for those who were not as lucky as we are - those who were hungry or lonely or hopeless. And we found that a big of part of living richly is the realization that hope and peace are not grounded in what we have in the bank, but rather in living the fullness of life in generosity, thankfulness, and humility.

About the time all this happened to us, the 12-year-old son of a friend was diagnosed with cancer. I know that his family has a renewed understanding now of what it means to live richly, to enjoy those moments of grace and peace and respite from suffering, and to be thankful to God for the gift of life.

Each evening as we sit down to dinner with our children, I take a moment to look at them - really look at them - at the miracles that they are - and I live richly, deeply, and fully in gratitude and thanks. I wish each of you those moments of grace that remind us that the richness of life is in the beauty of relationship and community.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Jan 24 Paper or Plastic?

Since I believe that spirituality and life are intertwined and therefore our spiritual beliefs must influence our everyday choices, you will sometimes, okay often, see things on this blog that seem to have little to do with religion. That's by design. Too often our "religion" is what we "believe" but how we live is not consistent with our beliefs.

Most Christians would say that they absolutely believe that we are part of a large creation and designed to live in harmony with the rest of creation. But how much do we really do to care for creation? Often, very little. Many people feel there is little an individual can do to affect our environment. I wonder if that's even the point? Maybe what we should be asking is what choices can I make, as an individual, that show love and respect for all of God's creation? We are a collective consciousness, and collectively we can and do have tremendous influence on policy and implementation for environmental issues. The individual choices we make do matter, because we can either contribute to the collective good or participate in the ongoing destruction of creation.

One example is a trip to the grocery store. There are conflicting camps on the issue of paper versus plastic bags and which are best for the environment. In reality, both have serious problems that I won't go into here, but there is a lot of info out there if you're interested. For me, there seems a better option - reusable bags. Several months ago we invested in several sturdy, reusable bags, and we try to use them every time we shop. We've found that the coated square-bottomed bags with handles are our favorites and carry a large amount of groceries. We got ours at Trader Joe's but use them at all the major chains. We also have a few of the canvas bags, but they don't hold as much or feel as stable.

It was in the news recently that Whole Foods will no longer be offering plastic bags. This is a bold move and I applaud their leadership in this area. Once this idea hits the "tipping point" and grows in mainstream use, it will make a significant difference in the health of creation.

I encourage you to invest in some good reusable grocery bags and keep them in your car so you remember to use them. This small step will make a real contribution to the health of God's creation.

Whole Foods will also credit you $.05 for each plastic bag you bring in. If you take in 20 bags of any kind, that will pay for 1 reusable bag! So gather up your disposable plastic bags and go to Whole Foods and trade them in for a reusable bag made from recycled plastic bottles. It's a win-win!

Here is a link to the story about Whole Foods for those of you who wish to learn more:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/23/business/23bags.html?_r=2&ex=1358830800&en=7061ed61dd36b6bf&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&ore&oref=slogin

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

January 23, 2008

Someone sent me an email today asking me about Lent - what it is - who observes it and why - what it means, so I've decided to ramble about it for 40 days beginning on Ash Wednesday, which this year falls on Feb. 6. Well, I won't so much ramble as I'll share some background on Lent, share my own Lenten practices, and offer up some ideas you may want to consider on your journey. I have my own take on Lent, and believe it's by and large misunderstood even by religious types. I hope you'll join me. You can even sign up to receive the daily postings in your inbox if you wish. Just email me and I'll add you to the list. Between now and then I may have some other stream-of-consciousness musings, so please check back. You can also see what Sacred Tapestry is up to at http://www.sacredtapestry.com/.