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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Joy

This week in Advent the focus is on joy. But, joy is sort of a mixed bag, at least for me. For instance, last night I took my 13-year-old son to his 8th grade dance. I didn't dare go inside when I dropped him off, but when I returned to pick him up, the teacher insisted that all the other parents were inside in the back watching, and that I should go in. So, I did. And there he was, having a great time with his friends. I smiled as I talked with the other parents, and then my mind was suddenly transported back through time to Richland Country Club in Nashville Tennessee, where I was dancing with my 3-year-old son and my 7-year-old daughter to KC and the Sunshine Band. I looked down at my children, their eyes wide and smiles huge, as we joined hands and danced Greek-style in a circle with the other guests. And then it was 3 years later, and as a single mother I put on a CD in our small townhouse in Greenville SC and we danced before dinner. Then just as suddenly, I was jolted back into the present when I saw my now almost grown son gesture that I should meet him outside to leave. (Can't be seen walking out of a dance with your mother!)

I felt joy dancing at the country club with my small angels. I felt joy being silly in the kitchen in Greenville with my young children. I felt joy as I watched my handsome, gentle, teenage son with his friends. And I fought back tears as I realized that with each joy comes a passing of time that can't be stopped. No matter how much I want to freeze those moments of joy in time, I cannot.

I remind myself that living in true joy is not living in the past. Joy is not just in memory, although many of our memories bring remembrances of joyful times. Nor is living in true joy simply hoping for joy in the future. Living in true joy, the way God intends for us to live, is to find joy in the moment, whatever the moment brings us, even if that moment brings the understanding that things are changing, and people are growing, perhaps in the direction of independence from us. And so last night, even as I watched my son take yet another step toward adulthood and independence, I felt joy - joy for him that he is who he is - joy for me that I am able to see him, and my beautiful daughter, grow and mature - and joy at the honor of sharing their journeys. Being their mom is my greatest joy.

Blessings,
Teresa

Friday, December 5, 2008

Thoughts on Advent

We are now approaching the second Sunday in Advent, with an emphasis this week on peace. I sometimes think it's very difficult to find peace in a world filled with chaos. On Black Friday, a temp worker was crushed to death at a Walmart in suburban New York. Innocent people were murdered by terrorists in Mumbai. A man in Atlanta was arrested after beating his dog in a public park with a sledge hammer. Many of my parishoners are struggling with employment issues, financial upheaval, and a tumultuous economy. Peace? Hardly. How do we find peace at Christmastime, or, the better question I believe, how can we be peacemakers in a time where little peace can be found?

I recently took a vow of non-violence in my thoughts, actions, and words. I have to admit, I'm not a very violent person to begin with, at least in my actions. But since taking that vow, I find that I say, do, and think little things that are violent, or at the very least, not peaceful. If the driver in front of me cuts me off, or is driving erratically or slowly, I find myself getting agitated and thinking things that aren't peaceful or kind! The other night, as I sat at my desk at work, one of our dogs started sniffing and circling and acting as if he might do something forbidden in the floor, which he's done twice this week already, and I said “Buck, don't you dare! I'll kill you!” My son, Andrew, looked up from his homework and said gently, “Mom...no you won't.” And I realized that even in that (sort of) joke, I had broken my vow of non-violence in my words. I could have made another choice. I could have chosen to realize that maybe I hadn't paid as much attention to Buck as I should have and that maybe he had been trying to tell me for a while that he needed to go out. I could have reacted with compassion rather than irritation. I could have stopped to think that a ten and a half year old Golden Retriever might need to go out a little more than he used to.

We each have a choice this Advent season. We can choose to get caught up in the madness of life and holiday, or we can consciously choose to live in peace, in our homes, at our jobs, and in our public lives. I encourage each of you to take a vow of non-violence, and promise you that it will enhance the peace you feel in your hearts and minds, as well as bring peace to the world around you.

Blessings for a peaceful holiday season.
Teresa