Simply Seeking God

Yes, it's NYE 2011

2011-12-31T20:58:00.000-05:00

I know a lot of you don't do resolutions, but I do. For me, it's important both to assess my life over time and to set goals. If you know me at all, you know I'm very, well, results driven.

To that end, I'm sharing my resolutions/intentions/goals for 2012. First off, the changes I need to make in my life will directly impact some of you! As I let go of some responsibilities in order to live a healthier, more balanced life, some of what I do will need to be done by others, especially in my work life. Secondly, I think some of my struggles, especially over the past five years, might resonate with many of you.

So, here goes, along with some commentary about how and why I've chosen these particular goals:

LESS PROCESSED FOOD/NO SUGAR

Seems this one speaks for itself. My goal is to cut out sweets entirely with the exception of VERY rare special occasions. I have to be honest. This will likely be the resolution I struggle with the most. I am ADDICTED to sugar, but I know it's poison. I'm also hopeful to eat at least 50% of my food raw.

LIMIT WORK TO NO MORE THAN 57 HOURS A WEEK + TAKE ALL VACATION
Yes. I mean this. A dear friend and very wise priest advised me in 2011 to do this, but I have to admit, I failed miserably. Miserably. Not even close. However, my work ethic, recently described as "relentless" (which I had never realized and honestly, hurt my feelings terribly), is becoming counter-productive and unhealthy. Since I planted Sacred Tapestry (and I admit, I've always been something of a workaholic, but it's gotten exponentially worse) over five years ago, I've put in 70 hour weeks almost non-stop and taken very little time off. This has hurt my family, my relationships, my health, and my soul. God commanded sabbath, every single week, for a reason. Jesus went off alone for a reason. I've tried to (wo)man handle the natural cycle of rest/work/play to fit my agenda, and I simply cannot keep up the pace. I've seen my work life as a sprint, and it's really a marathon. If I don't start to pace myself better, I'm not going to finish the race. (Had to finish that metaphor though!) So, I'm setting boundaries with work, and I'm taking every single minute of off time and vacation time I have in 2012, and I have 5 weeks of vacation, 2 weeks of continuing education time, and may need renewal leave. I'm exhausted and burning out. I love Sacred Tapestry and everyone in it. In fact, I love you all enough to tell you that I've got to establish some boundaries, rest every week, and ask others to help more. So look out! But, I'll be a better spiritual leader. Of this I am sure.

MOVE MY BODY EVERYDAY + MEDITATION/YOGA
Until I launched Sacred Tapestry, I practiced yoga on a regular basis and exercised at least 3 times a week. I had a strong prayer life, and meditation was an important part of my personal spiritual practice. As I age, I am finding that I need this MORE, not less. I want to be around and healthy for my family for many years to come.

READ 52 BOOKS IN 52 WEEKS
I used to read all the time. It made me a better writer. It gave me great ideas for sermons. It relaxed me. I wrote for a living, and every good writer I know is an avid reader. That has been lost over the last 10 years as I've gotten two advanced degrees. Most of my reading has been academic in nature. That's great, but I miss reading for pleasure. So, a book a week is my goal. So far, I'm on track. I've already read a book this week and I'm half way to finishing another. :)

BE LESS REACTIVE
I think this stands alone. My goal is to listen more and say less, in every situation.

RELAX/ENJOY FAMILY & FRIENDS MORE
I have some amazing, interesting, loyal friends, and I've not been a good friend at all to them for the last 5 years. Work has consumed me. I am very grateful that some of you have maintained effort with me even when I've been less than you deserved. That will change in 2012. Some of you have been my friends for all of my adult life. Some of you are newer friends. But all of you are people I love, admire, and truly want to spend time with, so I will try to make that happen more often. Forgive me. And I will be more open to making new friends too. I love my work, but I need to leave it behind more. I want to laugh more. I want to cook more. I want to enjoy my brilliant son's last full year living at home before he goes off to college, and spend more time with and admiring my grown daughter, who has become one of the finest, smartest, most interesting women I know. I want to spend more time smiling at my husband and less time passing like ships in the night. I want to romance him and be romanced by him. All that requires intention and time.

So, there are my 2012 resolutions. It's mostly about balance, which I readily admit my life has lacked, especially for the last 5 years.

So, Happy New Year to all of you. I know God will richly bless you in 2012 because God always richly blesses us. Sometimes, like me, we are just too busy to notice. This coming year, I intend to notice, and I intend to enjoy God's blessings in my life. May you do the same.

Teresa

Lightening up

2011-07-08T18:17:00.000-04:00

I realized something today. I don't laugh enough. I don't laugh often enough and I don't laugh hard enough. You know, that can't catch your breath, crying, think you might throw up sort of laughing. I used to laugh like that all the time.

I miss it.

So if you see me laughing, join me. We'll both feel better.

What choices will you make this week?

2011-07-03T13:42:00.002-04:00

As we contemplate our choices, our failures, our shortcomings, our temptations, and the grace under which we live, I offer you this, from my friend Lynn Buckley. This will be my personal morning devotion every morning this week. I encourage you to do the same if you can.

Blessings,
Teresa

The Choice by Max Lucado
IT’S QUIET. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep.. The day is coming.
In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun.. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary , I’m free to choose.

And so I choose.
I choose love . . .
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.
I choose joy . . .
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical . . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace . . .
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I choose patience . . .
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness . . .
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness . . .
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness . . .
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their parent will desert them.
I choose gentleness . . .
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose self-control . . .
I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when my days are done, when my book is closed, I will rest in His love, not the cold, hard re-purposed ground.
From When God Whispers Your Name Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1999) Max Lucado

Be the change you want to see

2011-07-01T07:18:00.000-04:00

I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?

Today's writing challenge hits pretty close to home.

We all project so much onto others. We make others responsible for our happiness. We say we are trapped by circumstances. But here is the truth as I see it. Life is a series of choices, and each choice we make takes us closer to our true self, our highest self, or away from who we really are, who we can be.

If I don't like my job, I can change it. Sure, it will bring consequences that affect not only me, but my family, but those are just challenges to overcome and adaptations to make. If I am not happy in my relationships, rather than bemoan my loneliness and rejection I can be the partner, friend, child, parent, employee, leader, (fill in the blank...these are examples here folks) that I need, and that almost always results in improved relationship with those around me.

And, in the end, I am responsible to myself and to God. That's it. But those are some very high standards, and I'm grateful for that.

How much energy, how much life, do we waste complaining that things and people are not as we want them to be? What if we directed that energy, spent that life, making sure we rise to our own highest expectations of other? What would our lives look like? Who would we be?

Life is a series of choices. Today, I plan to make choices that reflect my truest nature, that reflect the divine, or at least make the best choices I can. Because I will project onto others my own nature.

The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters

2011-06-25T22:29:00.000-04:00

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.
You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!
(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”)
(Author: Sasha Dichter)

Writing challenge: Okay Seth. You asked for it. You got it.

We all have to chip in. No excuses. It takes a village so stop being a consumer and start being a producer. That means time, money, work. Not one of them. Not two of them. All of them. This isn't a country club. This is life and we all get one shot at it. Make it count for something.

It's not all about you. Some of it's about you, but not much. If you keep making it all about you, you will miss out on what really makes life worth living. Get over yourself.

We have to stop building an institution. This nostalgia for the past is hurting our chances at an amazing future. Be grateful for the past and what it's taught us but don't hold onto it so tightly that you make a memory more important than the experience of a new paradigm. Things don't have to stay the same to be really great.

Lighten up. In every way. We've become mired in "stuff" and "things" and spend far too much of our lives pursuing it all. Clean out, give away, throw away, recycle, and bless someone else. You don't need it. If you really are honest with yourself, you don't really even want it.

Try something new every day, and if you can't do that, at least try something new every week. Take a different route. Eat a new food. Vary your routine. It's liberating. Try it.

Get rid of the toxic. Whether it's cleaning products or people. Move on. Make healthy choices.

Be grateful. Stop wanting what you don't have because most of us want what we are told to want, not what we really want anyway.

Breathe.

Pray.

Be a friend. Pay attention. Set the table every single night even if you are eating alone.

Call someone who loves you that you don't spend much time with anymore and don't rush the conversation.

Say "I love you" even if it makes you feel weird, or scared, or stupid, or even if you're afraid they won't say it back, and be happy you did it no matter what they say. You can't control what anyone else says or does so stop trying.

Be authentically you. There is no one else who can do that.

Now go and do it. That's all for now! But I reserve the right to revise this list at my will and whim!

Be blessed, and be a blessing.

Dang Seth. Just....dang.

When talking is a waste of time and energy

2011-06-19T18:04:00.000-04:00

Today's writing challenge:
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?
(Author: Laura Kimball)

I read once that talking about your plans has the same effect in your mind as actually accomplishing your plan, which can spell disaster. In other words, if you tell people about your plan, your mind thinks the plan has actually been implemented, so you lose your motivation to realize it.

Often, when I have something really big I want to do, I don't say much about it until I'm ready to take action on it, or have already begun to act on it. In doing so, I keep the momentum to work on the plan, realize the plan, see it to fruition. It's not real to me yet, in part, because I have not talked to others about it.

What this means is that sometimes I surprise people. My actions seem impulsive. But there is almost nothing impulsive about me. I am pretty decisive, but almost never impulsive. I like to think I just plug away at a good idea until I get close to accomplishing it, then I reveal it. But I've been working on it all along.

Do you talk too much about your ideas, never putting them into action? Don't trick your mind by talking through things too much. Keep your dialog internal, or share with a close friend, or journal about it, but keep channeling your energy into the realization of the project rather than expending it talking about the project.

When I presented the idea for Sacred Tapestry to the Dir. of New Church Development, I had not talked to anyone about it, and yet, it was a very fully developed concept. The very first time I talked about it, I had already visioned it and worked through the details. By doing this, my presentation was decisive, well thought out, and complete. All that I needed to do once I got approval was to launch!

I'm working on some new ideas even now, but I won't talk about any of it yet. So hold on! Some new things, big things, may well roll out in the next year to 18 months. And don't think I'm impulsive. I've been working on it all along.

Are you talking too much and doing too little to make your dreams a reality? Stop talking and start doing~

Cheers!
Teresa

Taking the Road Less Traveled

2011-06-15T20:34:00.000-04:00

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Today's writing challenge.

I've rarely marched to the beat of the band, not just to be different, and not to attract attention, but because I have a low boredom threshold. In personality type, I'm an architect, so life is most interesting to me when I either see something that I think I can do in a different way, or create something new. That's why I've always loved to write. My words are my own, not perfect, not brilliant, but original. That's why I planted a church that is unique and does worship in new ways. That's why I love to move, to gain a fresh palette on which to decorate and re-design. I am not particularly comforted by the familiar, rather, I have a "been there done that" sort of feeling.

There are so many new things to discover, so many new places to see, so many designs and words and churches and rooms and gardens yet to be created and used. Life is short. I say explore it all! For me, standing still is torture, be it literally or figuratively. Life is a classroom. I don't want or need to repeat the lessons!

Where are you standing still, and what adventures are you missing? I challenge you to be brave, to march to your own beat, and to share your creativity and unique self with all of us!

What are my options?

2011-06-09T08:25:00.000-04:00

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

(Author: Eric Handler)

When you allow your mind to be free and open, anything - literally - anything, is possible.

Getting typecast

2011-06-08T22:42:00.000-04:00

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes, if you do a good job in an acting role, you get typecast. And sometimes, when you've been masterful in a role, you get almost superstitious about it, and you start to worry that you'll never "hit it" like that again. And sometimes, when you perform well at work, the boss keeps giving you the same challenge over and over because you are successful in that role. I know a pastor or two who have helped turn around some declining churches, and now they keep getting appointed to declining churches even though they would love the challenge of a different kind of appointment.

Sometimes our past successes, and our past failures, keep us from moving outside our comfort zone and taking risks.

I'm making some pretty bold moves to try some new and innovative things over the next year or two, and it's a little scary. I'm stretching myself and hoping to develop some new skills. I'm trying to re-define a lot of things in my life and work and to create a more balanced way of living and earning, and it's going to challenge me and those around me to see a lot of things in a new way, a broader way, and I hope, a healthier way.

The old paradigm for work no longer works. The increased leisure time that "progress" was supposed to create has simply created in most of us an almost pathological desire for stuff, for more, for bigger. That paradigm is toxic.

So, I'm preparing for a new way, and scared that others won't understand it. I am "loathe to disappoint." But I'm going there anyway, because there is nothing more thrilling than a new challenge. I apologize in advance if me moving forward makes anyone uncomfortable, but in the end, I agree with Emerson...our consistency can often stand in the way of trusting our deepest self.

I have no interest in getting out of the box. I don't believe in the reality of the box in the first place.

Keeping Up With Me

2011-06-07T07:45:00.000-04:00

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?
(Author: Corbett Barr)

Dear Me 5 years ago: Guess what? You are human after all. You cannot, in fact, live on 3 hours of sleep a night forever. You do need sabbath and recreation and a social life. You do need regular vacations. Your body is not invincible and you can get elevated blood pressure, gall stones, and have 5 lbs. that you can't seem to lose no matter how much you starve yourself. You don't have to be everything to everyone, and you can delegate, let someone else do the work, and allow tasks to go undone. The world will go on.

Dear Me 5 years from now: Guess what? You did put on the brakes in time. You can enjoy your family and friends. You have honored God by observing a sabbath every week and understanding that you, alone, do not have to save the world. I'm glad you are reading more for pleasure. I'm proud of you for saying "No" sometimes and setting boundaries between work and personal life. I love that you are traveling more, delegating more, and pacing yourself. I know this will extend your life and see that you are happier, healthier, and more productive now that you have some balance in your life.

Some of us place such high expectations on ourselves that we risk burning out. 5 years ago I thought, no I knew, I was Superwoman. I was different that everyone else. I was "unique." This year I have learned that while I am, a bit unique (clears throat), that no one can sprint forever. I have to pace myself. I have to slow down long enough to have a life outside of my job. I don't have to do it all but more importantly I can't do it all.

In the next 5 years, I will work fewer hours, but still work very hard. I will say no to a lot of things that add work to my plate and yes to more things that are fun, restful, exciting, and feed my body and spirit. I will let phone calls go unanswered, emails go unopened, and spend more time enjoying my friends and family. I will continue to study, learn, write, explore, and be as good a minister as I can be, but that won't mean I'm available 24/7 as I have been for the last 5 years, because if I continue to sprint rather than jog, I know I will burn out.

And I think this wisdom will make me a better pastor, mate, mother, daughter, friend, advocate, and child of God.

Broadening our view

2011-06-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

If we live truly, we shall see truly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?
(Author: Chris Guillebeau)

Timely. I leave tomorrow for a mission trip with a group of teenagers. When we think about traveling, and I'm big on travel, we usually think about exotic locations, or places of great cultural or historical significance, but there is more...

The first place I ever went alone was to El Salvador. I was 18, and I went alone. My family felt it was a critical part of my education to travel, and to experience other cultures. It was an eye-opening trip for an innocent white girl from Knoxville Tennessee. It changed my life. It changed the way I see the world. It changed me on the inside. I befriended a Salvadorean family, the Delgados. I would discover many years later that many of them were killed in the civil turbulence that ensued in the 1980s. I learned that they were a lot like my own family back in Tennessee. I learned that I can make my way around a country that speaks a language I do not know, and that most people are kind and generous and willing to help I learned (the hard way) not to eat from street vendors or drink the water. I learned that we are all God's children.

This week, as I take a group of privileged youth to a disadvantaged neighborhood to do a VBS, as I think back on all the places I've been...Europe, Egypt, the Caribbean, South America, and all the places in between, as I think about the question posed....where is one place in the world you want to visit before you die and what will you do to get there...as I think about how travel is maybe my most favorite hobby...as I contemplate Bali and the Middle East and Morocco and all the places I still want to go, and there are many, it occurs to me that what Emerson says is true...If we live truly, we shall see truly...
...and I want to see truly, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the beautiful, the breathtaking, and the heartbreaking, and I want these youth to see it too, because in truly seeing, they will truly live.

With eyes wide open.
Teresa

Purpose

2011-06-03T07:33:00.000-04:00

As you probably know by now, I am participating in a writing challenge, and the topics are being assigned by someone else. Today's assignment hit me right where I live. It is:

That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.
Bonus: tweet or blog a photo of your post-it.
(Author: Jenny Blake)

This very thing has actually consumed me for weeks...how can I do what I do better? Am I doing exactly what God designed me to do, and am I doing it as well as I can? I believe this is a question we must all ask ourselves. The tricky part, I think, is that the first part of that question may have more than one answer depending on where you are in life.

Like most of you, I am facing a challenge, right here, right now, in my life. I will do this challenge and put a post it on my bathroom mirror, and we'll see what comes up in my journal on Monday morning.

What is your current challenge? Is it work related? Relationship? Financial? I urge you to take Emerson's words to heart and seek to discover what God has created you to do and be. Once you figure that our, like Emerson, I believe there is no limit.

TAY

What is reality?

2011-06-02T07:27:00.001-04:00

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

I believe in the impermanence of the present, and by that I mean that I believe the things and places that we live in are, to some extent, illusions. Now, before I get too lofty, philosophical, and immersed in physics, let me just say that the bottom line is that I believe our reality lies within, not in the physical realm in which we often live. Consequently, after the initial thrill wears off, I often become bored.

That manifests in several ways. I like to move. I can't imagine living in one place my entire life. Even within the same city, I get the urge to sell the house and find a "fresh palette." I love to travel but rarely want to visit the same place twice. I enjoy new challenges, fresh faces.

That's not to say I do not love the familiar. I don't want a new husband and I could look into the faces of my children every day for the rest of my life! This is not about instability in relationships. It's about a sort of restlessness in the physical world. I don't sit still well. I like to be on the move. I like to see new vistas. I like innovation.

I believe the world in which we dwell is vastly richer than most people experience, not only in physical location (not everyone has my wanderlust) but also in dimension. I understand that many people find security and comfort in staying put. I guess there is something charming, for some, about returning to the same place year after year for vacation, but that would make me want to scream. I've just never been attached to place. I'm not sentimental about places. I would be bored beyond measure returning again and again to the same place. I do not need a touchstone...I'm not a hoarder of stuff...furniture is just furniture...why walk down the same street twice...why revisit the same classroom. But I am a hoarder of experiences.

My reality resides inside of myself, and in the connection I have to those I love. Where I am matters not. My spirit longs to engage with a broader reality that is not bound by time or space.

Bring on the new!

2011-06-01T06:54:00.002-04:00

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

Today's writing challenge.

Over the next 24 hours, you are trading in a day of your life for whatever you choose to do, so choose wisely and show love, compassion, and kindness.

Fear

2011-05-31T09:34:00.003-04:00

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

That is my writing assignment for today.

I have fought fear almost all my life. I just hide it well. I've been afraid of heights, afraid of my own anger, afraid of loneliness, afraid that something bad might happen to one of my children, afraid of looking foolish, afraid of speaking my mind, afraid of the anger of others.

Right now the most pressing fear I have concerns the financial health of Sacred Tapestry, this amazing, innovative, healing, holy ministry that I serve. I'm afraid that unless the hearts of the congregation open in a big way our future may not be what we hope. No...that's letting my fear speak. Here is the real truth, I'm afraid that we won't make it. There. I said it. I have kept my tongue and put on a smile and a brave front mainly because I didn't want anyone jumping ship for fear the ship is sinking, but the truth is, we are taking on water, fast. For the first time since opening in February of 2007, we cannot pay our bills this month.

No one wants to hear the church talk about money. I get that. No one feels they have too much and are just looking for a place to put their extra dollars. I get that too. But my fear is unless there is a real, serious, ongoing financial commitment to Sacred Tapestry on the part of all involved, this vibrant, special community may end.

The challenge for today is to "write the story that has to be written" without letting fear stop me, so I have. It's right out there, ugly, visible, and honest. But my need to be transparent is greater than my fear that any mention of money will drive folks out of church.

My hope and prayer is that many will look into their hearts, and bank accounts, and decide that keeping Sacred Tapestry open and thriving is more important than eating out and vacations and jewelry and all the other "stuff" we spend money on, that community and having a safe place to come and express doubt, fear, and pain is more important than vacations and salons. My hope is that you will take your own 15 minutes and write something true in your own life that may make you feel vulnerable and a little scared, because I know that it's in those places of vulnerability and fear that we find God.

With a vulnerable heart,

Teresa

Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T10:42:00.002-05:00

Hello friends. This is a re-run (with no commercial breaks!) of my blog post from 2008. A few of you are from traditions that do not observe Lent, so my hope is that this will give you a basic understanding of what today is about. Blessings for a holy Lent!
Teresa

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Lent-Ash Wednesday

Today is the first day of the season of Lent. There is a good bit of confusion about what Lent is, so over the next 40 days leading up to Easter, I will share with you some of the history of Lent, but more importantly, I will offer you some suggestions about how to observe Lent and why I think it's important. I will make these musings brief, and encourage you to send me any questions you may have.

Lent originated in the 4th century, and was initially a time for people who were to be baptized at Easter to prepare for their baptism. Since baptism is an act of introduction into a community of faith, (more on this when I do my series on baptism!), the entire community was called to this "time of preparation." Additionally, those people who had been removed from the fellowship of the church (for a number of reasons that are not particularly important for us to get into at this time) were also called to this time of self-examination, prayer, fasting, and introspection before their re-introduction to the church.

Many of you know that today is Ash Wednesday, and you may see people walking around with black marks on their foreheads! Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, and the ashes symbolize our humility before God, and our recognition that we are mortal. It is a time when we reflect on what we need to change in our lives in order to be the person that God intends us to be, to live responsibly and lovingly as a member of the created world. I hope you'll join me as we look more deeply at the observance of Lent over the next 40 days, take a fearless moral inventory of our lives, and look for ways to find more love, peace, and fulfillment in our lives. I look forward to making this journey with each of you.

A Change of Seasons

2011-02-28T08:00:00.003-05:00

Our hostas and lilies are beginning to poke up through the soil. I love this time of year when the garden begins to come alive with new growth. But it also signals a time to re-evaluate things. For instance, the hosta bed by the mailbox is too crowded. It was uncomfortably so last season, and I can tell already that we need to divide the plants this year. I'm always a little worried about dividing plants. I worry that I won't space the re-plants well and I'll have gaps. I worry I might damage a plant in the process and lose it. If I decide on a new garden design, I worry it won't look as good as the old one. I fret over the garden.

Ultimately, I get out the shovel and go at it, and yes, I occasionally lose a plant, and I'm sad, but I can honestly say that each year, our garden gets more beautiful.

So I dig and re-vision. I divide and re-plant. And then I have plants to share with friends.

Church is a lot like that. In the past 3 years, we have created something really beautiful at Sacred Tapestry. We have worked and cultivated and fertilized and grown something that has been a joy and a blessing to many. Now, we're getting a bit crowded. It's time to think about a plan for moving forward. And that's a little intimidating.

But I don't see it as division. I see it as multiplication. I see it as creating new worship experiences to share with more people, and that's exciting.

Healthy growth blesses us so that we can bless others. We get to share.

Here is to a new season of growth and health!

Teresa

No Man Left Behind

2011-01-28T16:38:00.002-05:00

I don't come from a military family. My cousin is career Air Force and my step-father was career Navy, but retired before I ever met him. But I've always heard the expression "no man left behind" in the context that a good soldier never leaves a comrade on the battlefield, and I've always admired that concept.

I vacillate between two extremes. Upon occasion, I feel that we make the journey that is our life essentially alone. Yes, sometimes we have company along the way, but often, for some people, the real journey is a pretty solitary one. Other times, I affirm the idea that while our companions along the way may change at times, we journey together.

Of course, God is always with us, but I also believe that God intends us to live in faithful community, so I feel we should always try to remember that our steps are not just our own. Every step moves us closer to someone, and if we aren't careful, farther away from someone that we never meant to leave behind.

Who have you left behind? Sometimes we walk toward something we want, or think we want, and never look back to see who we might have left standing in our dust.

I never think that God intends for us to prosper or grow or evolve at the expense of another person, or even at the expense of a relationship. Jesus commands us to love others in the same way we love ourselves. That means making sure that as we travel, as we move, we're not stepping on someone else's opportunity, or more importantly, their heart.

May we all move forward toward our dreams, being careful to hold on tightly to the hands of those we love, so we don't leave them behind.

Teresa

Glue and other lessons from Hart to Hart

2011-01-25T19:01:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. Why do some relationships last while others flame out quickly? How do some people weather the inevitable storms that every relationship endures and come out the other side stronger, while others drown in the sea of emotion, betrayal, and disappointment? What makes a relationship really work? And I don't just mean romantic entanglements. I'm talking any relationship that has long-term value.

I remember a television show called Hart to Hart. I loved that show. Stephanie Powers as a beautiful, jet-setting journalist married to dashing self-made millionaire Robert Wagner, solving crime and mystery with their butler/housekeeper Max. This was the Big 80's at its best. Expensive cars, luxury hotels, fast boats, designer clothes, huge hair, but the Harts were grounded, right? I mean, they adopted Freeway, a cute little stray dog they found on the, well, freeway, in L.A. But in my impressionable youth, it wasn't the clothes or the cars or the champagne or the opulent vacations or the private jet that so enthralled me. Well, okay, the private jet was very cool. No, what kept me glued to our tv set every week was the relationship between Jonathan and Jennifer Hart. No matter how much evidence to the contrary, no matter how incriminating, no matter how far-fetched, they absolutely trusted each other without reservation. They defended each other even when every fact pointed to another reality. If Jennifer told Jonathan that even in her drug-induced haze that there was a disappearing room in the hospital, then Jonathan believed her. He was her champion. She was his biggest fan. The glue that held them together was trust.

So much is out there to undermine trust in relationships. People are so fragile, and so fallible, and so weak. It's easy to disappoint, or betray, or lose confidence in another person. Our expectations are both ridiculously high, and heartbreakingly low. But sometimes, every now and then, two people get it right, and it's magic. It can happen between lovers or friends or in families. It can happen in the work place. It can happen in crisis. It can happen over the course of a lifetime. But, it happens. And when it does, it's exquisite.

I wonder, sometimes, if we are interested in building and nurturing that sort of radical trust in our relationships. I wonder, sometimes, how many of us are even worthy of that sort of radical trust. I wonder, a lot, if most of us even really believe those kinds of relationship are even possible.

Can you even imagine being that sort of champion for someone else? Can you even imagine having someone be that champion for you? Maybe if we could, we wouldn't be so bent on defending ourselves or staying on offense all the time. What a amazing life that would be.

From my "hart" to yours,
Teresa

Aligning our values with our actions

2011-01-13T17:00:00.002-05:00

After only 4 days of being at home because of ice and snow, many people in Atlanta are getting "cabin fever" and making threats (joking I hope) about insisting that schools reopen and take their children, or taking about how bored they are. Now, I understand bored, because I have a very low boredom threshold, but I have not been the least bit bored these 4 days. I've had plenty to do.

I want to see where these bored, stir-crazy people live. They must have homes that are flawlessly organized and clean. They must have lots of leisure time to spend relaxing and enjoying family. They must get to surf the internet a lot because one person even claimed to have read everything on the web in the past 4 days.

I don't have that life. There is always a project waiting in the wings be it a closet that needs to be cleaned out or photos to be sorted, and I never, ever get to spend enough time with my husband or my children.

Most of us would claim that we wish we had more down time, that we want to spend more quality time with family, and yet, when the opportunity presents itself, as it has the past 4 days, many of the comments I've heard would indicate that what people really want is to get back to the office, and to eat more fast food, and to get away from the home fires as fast as they can. (There have been some notable exceptions to that, which has been wonderful to see!)

When I counsel couples for marriage, I always tell them that a lot of relationships get into trouble because the values we profess don't always match our actions. We say we want meaningful, intimate relationships, but we focus our time and energy on other things most of the time. We say we want quality time with our families, but often complain when we are "trapped" with them for even a few days.

Do your actions really align with your values? The past few days might be a litmus test for exactly that.

Stay warm and safe.
Teresa

Snow days and other rites of passage

2011-01-10T13:48:00.004-05:00

This morning Atlanta awoke to 5 inches of snow and a city snuggled in (for the most part) for the day. These are the days I miss most since moving south to the ATL...snow days with my children filled with hot chocolate, warm cake, soup, sledding, movies, and board games. So this is heaven for me. Except...this snow day is different than any I've had, because for the first time, I only have one of my children at home. My daughter is snug in her own apartment, with her own hot chocolate, and her own soup, and her own banana bread. Okay, I made it for her, but still, she isn't here.

It's one of those good news/bad news sort of days. She's in college, making her own way in the world, grown up (or almost), independent, capable, and all those things we wish for our children. But she's not here, warm and safe in my house...

So, for me, today is both a great day for remembering all the fun snow days we've shared in the past 20 years, and for deciding to build some new memories with my son and my husband. No, it's not the same. It's different. It feels odd. But, it's okay. We're not empty-nesters yet, but I can see the writing on the wall, and I can't stop it from happening, so I'm celebrating the realization that I have a happy, healthy, independent daughter.

I think life is best lived with an attitude that while life may not bring today what we expect, or even what we want, there is an adventure in each day that presents opportunities for making new memories and new traditions. Even now, the three of us are sitting in the family room, each doing their own work, but together. And later, I'll text or phone the one who is now on her own, who is building her own memories of her first snow day in her own place, and I hope she's building some traditions and memories of her own. And I hope she's remembering the fun and the family she has, and dreaming of the opportunities of many snow days to come.

Each day brings a gift. It's all in how we see it.

Stay warm.
Teresa

Paying Yourself First

2011-01-05T21:29:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about sabbath, longing really, and musing about how some of us aren't very good at observing it. Okay, I'm very guilty of that. I think partly it's a hard-wiring issue and partly it's out and out fear of leaving something undone.

But a wise man pointed out to me recently that even God rests, even Jesus went off alone, a lot, to commune with God, to simply rest his weary body, to pray, and to enjoy the company of friends. So, if even God and Jesus need some down time, then who am I to think I do not?

But you know, I'm not alone in my inability to simply rest. I see it in many of you. And even if you are good at it, you probably know someone you love who isn't.

So, I say let's all make a pact for 2011. Let's agree to slow it down, every now and then, and just enjoy life. Let's agree to gently but firmly encourage those we love to invest a little time in their own souls. We all know the wisdom that one should "pay oneself first" in financial matters, to put away a little in savings before you do anything else, and eventually it becomes a habit, and a healthy one at that. I say let's adopt that same attitude about rest and sabbath. Let's decide to set aside that time first, before we commit to everything else, before we take on a new project, before we schedule all the other obligations we have. Let's agree to set aside that time as holy, to see ourselves as important enough to schedule time to rest, to pray, to smell the roses, to spend time with those we love.

If it is good enough for God, then surely it will nourish our souls, right?

Shalom,
Teresa

Simple joys and everyday grace

2011-01-01T18:36:00.002-05:00

This has been a great weekend. I got to talk to my son at his dad's and hear about his NYE. I got to laugh at his wry humor and razor-sharp intuition about people. I got to dream with him about his upcoming adventures and dreams. As I took a moment to look at pictures of him over the last 15 years, I found myself smiling at all the joy he brings me every single day.

I helped my almost 20-year-0ld daughter move into her downtown Atlanta apartment. I got to watch her take charge with the leasing agent and get her paperwork done with no help from me. I got to make her bed in the new apartment and hang her towels and put away her groceries. I got to hear about the great dinner she cooked her boyfriend on New Year's Eve. I got to see a beautiful young woman coming into her own. It was breathtaking. She is breathtaking.

I had a great night away with the love of my life. I got to eat a great, healthful dinner overlooking a beautiful river then sleep in a great bed that someone else prepared for us. I got to be a passenger on the trip rather than the driver. I got a heated seat. I got to watch my husband totally in his element in the international market, talking about vegetables I've never heard of or tasted and spices that smelled exotic and wonderful. It was a peaceful, happy weekend spent in the company of people I love with all my heart.

Sometimes it's all too easy to find fault. Sometimes I forget that abundance is being happy with what you have. Sometimes I forget that others are struggling while I am safe and secure. Sometimes I forget that joy is found in people, not in things or accomplishments.

This weekend, I was reminded just how lucky I am. This weekend, I was reminded just how deeply I love. This weekend, I was reminded that the people that matter most to me are blessings beyond words.

Blessings for a year filled with simple joys and everyday grace.

Teresa

No Fear in the New Year?

2010-12-29T13:02:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it's been 8 months since I posted a blog. Cut me some slack. It's been a crazy stupid busy year. Now, as I approach my final semester of doctoral work (dissertation notwithstanding...) I'm beginning to have a little perspective on both the insanity of the past few years as well as some clarity of thought about the next few.

First, let me say that in reflection, and I am want to reflect this time of year, I would not do much differently. I would still have started Sacred Tapestry. I would still have done a doctorate. I would still have given up sleep, resources, and sacrificed a bit of my health to do all I've done. But, I would do a few things very differently.

I would take more vacations. I would stop working so much. I would spend more time and energy on myself. I would gather up my husband and children and whisk us all away more, just to spend time together, and I would do it more frequently. I would brush my dogs more. I would file papers faster rather than facing piles that make me feel disorganized. I would use my label maker more.

Mostly, I would face my fears straight up. I would let my heart pound and my palms sweat and my stomach churn, and I would just confront the things that scare me most. And I would take things less personally. I would delegate more.

In 20-11, those are my resolutions. I will delegate more, take more time off, take better care of myself and my personal relationships, and face my biggest fears.

So, while I may not have "no fear in the new year" I will nevertheless face up to my fears in the new year. And I hope you will do the same.

Oh, and I'll try to post more blogs. Really. I will. Okay, I'll try.

Blessings for a happy, healthful, and prosperous 20-11.

Teresa

Projects

2010-02-01T12:41:00.003-05:00

I'm a big project person. Ask my husband. Ask my children. Ask my friends. I think projects are great ways to vision, set goals, stay active, and accomplish tasks. However, I have always been guilty of over-committing myself.

This past weekend, I got three major projects off my plate. Great, right? One would think! But I have three more major projects already in the works, and I decided over the weekend to add some home improvement projects to the mix.

So, am I a project addict?

I wonder what would happen if I make it a "project" to reduce my project list?

I read something last week (yes, I like to call it my "pleasure/edification reading project") that reminded me that it's okay to have multiple dreams, and it's even okay to multi-task, but it can work against us to have too many projects going at once.

So, my goal for Lent is to set some real limits on projects. I hope that will allow me to spend more time in prayer and service, to spend more time with my family and friends, and to be more focused on the projects I choose to pursue.

The other projects? Oh, I'll still finish most of them. Just not right this minute.

Okay okay okay...

2009-12-18T13:07:00.004-05:00

So, a dear friend sort of chastised me (gently) last week for not blogging lately. She reminded me that it isn't a good idea to link from the Sacred Tapestry website to a blog that hasn't been updated since last Advent...2008... Okay, I hear you. I'm sorry. Truth is that it's been such a busy year that the blog hasn't been a priority. Between a 60 hour workweek, a doctorate in progress, and a family, not to mention Board of Ministry work and some side projects, well, you get the idea.

But here is the thing. Like many of you, I have discovered that while I can do a great number of things at once, I don't always do them well. And when I'm this busy, sometimes important things get lost in the mix. Like sleep. Like taking a walk with my husband and holding hands. Like hanging out by the lake with my children and just listening to them talk. Well, I'm taking Advent seriously this year, maybe more seriously than I ever have in the past. I'm asking myself, "What am I doing to prepare the way for Christ in my own life? Am I making clear the path, or is the path so strewn with the litter of the millions of activities in my life that the path is obscured?" I've taken on too much, and while every activity is important and I can justify every late night, every missed lunch with a friend, every gray hair, new wrinkle, and extra pound, (after all who has time to exercise???), the truth is that I know all my busy-ness has cluttered the way to experience God in my life, and I don't like it, and I will change it. I know that Christ focused on relationships and spending time with people we know and love as well as bringing new people into our circle of friends. I know that the man with the most important "agenda" in history made time for those around him. He didn't have many "projects." His ministry was with people, not paper. He made time to pray and rest. I get it. I do.

So, after Christmas, ask me to lunch. Invite me to a dinner party. Take me to a movie. Invite youself over to my house for tea one afternoon. Hold me accountable. I want to make 2010 a time to build relationships. I want to take better care of myself. I want to be a more patient mother, a more loving wife, and most of all, a more focused Christian. I want to make the path to experience God one that is swept clean of distractions.

Yes, I'll still be working on my doctorate. I'll still the the sole pastor and administrator of a toddler-aged church plant. I'll still be the silent auction chair of my son's shool gala. (I know...why didn't you say something sooner before I commited???) But I'll blog more and have more leisurely conversations with friends and family. I'll spend more time meditating and praying. I'll walk my dogs longer and exercise more.

It's a new year. It's Advent. Change is in the air! Join me! Make clear your own path and invite God in. And invite me for coffee sometime. I'll come.

Blessings for a holy and joyous Christmas, and a calm, focused, and compassionate life in 2010.

Teresa

Joy

2008-12-13T09:16:00.004-05:00

This week in Advent the focus is on joy. But, joy is sort of a mixed bag, at least for me. For instance, last night I took my 13-year-old son to his 8th grade dance. I didn't dare go inside when I dropped him off, but when I returned to pick him up, the teacher insisted that all the other parents were inside in the back watching, and that I should go in. So, I did. And there he was, having a great time with his friends. I smiled as I talked with the other parents, and then my mind was suddenly transported back through time to Richland Country Club in Nashville Tennessee, where I was dancing with my 3-year-old son and my 7-year-old daughter to KC and the Sunshine Band. I looked down at my children, their eyes wide and smiles huge, as we joined hands and danced Greek-style in a circle with the other guests. And then it was 3 years later, and as a single mother I put on a CD in our small townhouse in Greenville SC and we danced before dinner. Then just as suddenly, I was jolted back into the present when I saw my now almost grown son gesture that I should meet him outside to leave. (Can't be seen walking out of a dance with your mother!)

I felt joy dancing at the country club with my small angels. I felt joy being silly in the kitchen in Greenville with my young children. I felt joy as I watched my handsome, gentle, teenage son with his friends. And I fought back tears as I realized that with each joy comes a passing of time that can't be stopped. No matter how much I want to freeze those moments of joy in time, I cannot.

I remind myself that living in true joy is not living in the past. Joy is not just in memory, although many of our memories bring remembrances of joyful times. Nor is living in true joy simply hoping for joy in the future. Living in true joy, the way God intends for us to live, is to find joy in the moment, whatever the moment brings us, even if that moment brings the understanding that things are changing, and people are growing, perhaps in the direction of independence from us. And so last night, even as I watched my son take yet another step toward adulthood and independence, I felt joy - joy for him that he is who he is - joy for me that I am able to see him, and my beautiful daughter, grow and mature - and joy at the honor of sharing their journeys. Being their mom is my greatest joy.

Blessings,
Teresa

Thoughts on Advent

2008-12-05T17:25:00.002-05:00

We are now approaching the second Sunday in Advent, with an emphasis this week on peace. I sometimes think it's very difficult to find peace in a world filled with chaos. On Black Friday, a temp worker was crushed to death at a Walmart in suburban New York. Innocent people were murdered by terrorists in Mumbai. A man in Atlanta was arrested after beating his dog in a public park with a sledge hammer. Many of my parishoners are struggling with employment issues, financial upheaval, and a tumultuous economy. Peace? Hardly. How do we find peace at Christmastime, or, the better question I believe, how can we be peacemakers in a time where little peace can be found?

I recently took a vow of non-violence in my thoughts, actions, and words. I have to admit, I'm not a very violent person to begin with, at least in my actions. But since taking that vow, I find that I say, do, and think little things that are violent, or at the very least, not peaceful. If the driver in front of me cuts me off, or is driving erratically or slowly, I find myself getting agitated and thinking things that aren't peaceful or kind! The other night, as I sat at my desk at work, one of our dogs started sniffing and circling and acting as if he might do something forbidden in the floor, which he's done twice this week already, and I said “Buck, don't you dare! I'll kill you!” My son, Andrew, looked up from his homework and said gently, “Mom...no you won't.” And I realized that even in that (sort of) joke, I had broken my vow of non-violence in my words. I could have made another choice. I could have chosen to realize that maybe I hadn't paid as much attention to Buck as I should have and that maybe he had been trying to tell me for a while that he needed to go out. I could have reacted with compassion rather than irritation. I could have stopped to think that a ten and a half year old Golden Retriever might need to go out a little more than he used to.

We each have a choice this Advent season. We can choose to get caught up in the madness of life and holiday, or we can consciously choose to live in peace, in our homes, at our jobs, and in our public lives. I encourage each of you to take a vow of non-violence, and promise you that it will enhance the peace you feel in your hearts and minds, as well as bring peace to the world around you.

Blessings for a peaceful holiday season.
Teresa

Raising Expectations

2008-11-17T20:07:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about expectations. Many of us go into the holiday season with high expectations. This year, everything will be perfect. We'll get the perfect tree and put perfect decorations on it. We'll buy perfect gifts and the recipients will show great joy and gratitude. This year, no one will get the flu on Christmas Eve. This year the Advent wreath in the church will have candles that do not burn out in the middle of the service. You know the drill.

I've often been accused of having very high, some might say impossibly high, expectations of myself and of imposing those high standards on others. I guess I can't argue with that. But without expectations, how can we grow? If we don't exercise, we can't get stronger or faster or healthier. If we don't exercise our intellectual muscle, we stagnate and become boring, unable to talk about current issues or integrate increasingly complex ideas. If we don't exercise our spiritual muscle, we run the risk of being like the third servant in the Matthew text about talents, and just maintaining the status quo rather than growing in our faith and service.

But expectations must also be realistic. Just as the master in Matthew assigned each worker with the amount of talents that he felt they could responsibly handle, so must we understand our own limitations, while still striving to push ourselves to be the best we can be, and to use our many and diverse gifts and tools to live faithfully in God's world.

Blessings,
Teresa

Push and Pull

2008-04-10T16:05:00.003-04:00

This week is spring break for my children, so I'm with them at the beach. My daughter is a teenager and about to head off to college (in a little over a year) and my son is in middle school. He still likes to play with mom. My daughter, on the other hand, is happier with the teenage best girl friend she brought with her, and I understand that, although I don't have to like it.

As we sat on the beach yesterday, I watched a young mother (at least she looked young to ME, but then my idea of young is changing...) in a full-blown, all out, verbal altercation with her teenage son. They were standing about a foot apart, and both were making full eye contact. I couldn't hear what they were saying (although from all the gesturing and animation I can guess) but the son wasn't backing down at all and the mother was holding her ground as well. There was a good bit of finger pointing on the part of the mother. The son listened, interrupted infrequently (to his credit), and then responded, although it seemed not to be the response the mother desired. I had to smile, but it was a smile through a tear. I was also watching a number of parents with VERY young children. The children would sometimes run into the surf, then back to "home base" for reassurance. Some of them stuck close to mom or dad, and in a few instances at least, the parents seemed desperate for some "adult" time. I even heard one dad begging, with the offer of a huge bribe, if the trio of teen girls in front of us would babysit that evening! I remember those days as if they were yesterday, and I'm living the teen years with my own children now.

It's push pull isn't it? We push, they pull. We pull, they push. Growing up is a series of tug of wars as children seek and find independence, and parents first provide security, then opportunities for maturation. What brought the tear to my eye was the realization that for a long time now, I've been doing most of the pulling, and my oldest has been pushing off hard.

Do I miss the days when I couldn't have an adult conversation that wasn't interrupted with "Mommy! Watch this!" Yes, I do. I was never the parent that couldn't wait until my children were grown and out of the house. I am the parent that dreads that journey to the dorm with a van full of luggage and furniture.

Push and pull. I think it's like that with us and God. God pulls us to God, and yet we, in our quest for independence, push away. Remember how good it felt to be a child and run into the loving arms of a parent? Remember, if you are a parent, how good it felt to have your child look up at you with such love and trust as you gathered them into your arms?

Why do we fight God so hard? I don't know, but I am thankful every day that God keeps pulling us toward the unending and unconditional source of mercy and love.

Teresa

Maundy Thursday

2008-03-20T08:54:00.002-04:00

Today we reach the time on the Christian calendar known as Maundy Thursday, or Holy Thursday. This is a very significant day for several reasons. Many churches hold special services on this evening. Some include footwashing (as a remembrance of Jesus' washing of the disciple's feet at the Last Supper), some observe Holy Communion (since Jesus instutitued this sacrament at the Last Supper with the sharing of the bread and wine and his instructions to the disciples) and some with a very moving service that includes removing items from the sanctuary (called "stripping the altar), such as candles, Communion elements, etc., draping the cross in black or gray fabric, and gradually lowering the lights until darkness is achieved, as a remembrance of the suffering of Jesus in his arrest and death on the cross, with everyone leaving the church in silence. The altar remains barren until Easter morning. It's a powerful service.

For me, Maundy Thursday is a day for somber reflection. I often think of the ways I have failed to honor the sacrifice of Jesus. How have I failed to love myself? How have I failed to love others? When have I missed an opportunity to serve those less fortunate? How have a squandered the earth's resources? It sounds gloomy, doesn't it? But, it's not really. I don't beat myself up, but I do offer up an honest apology to God for those times that I have failed to be the person God created me to be. I do think about the fact that God became a human being, and lived on this earth to teach us more about God's own nature, and gave us lessons on how to live, and yet we still don't get it right. We still put Jesus on the cross because that message of radical love and service was so threatening that we couldn't hear it then and we have trouble with it now because it flies in the face of everything else that the world promotes. And I let my heart break for Jesus' suffering, and for the ongoing suffering of the world, and hope that this will be the year that I get it right....or more right. Today I let myself feel grief - grief for the death of Jesus and grief for our human failures. I can't get to Easter and the forgiveness and hope of the resurrection until I honor what has gotten us to that day. Too often we skip right from Christmas and the birth of Jesus right to Easter and the promise of new life without stopping to think about all that happened in between. Then, to me, it's a "false spring."

So, today, allow yourself to feel pain and loss and sadness as you remember what we did to Jesus, who only came to us in total love. And remember that on Sunday, we will gather to celebrate the fact that no matter how dark the day, God gives us the gift of forgiveness and love and hope.

Teresa

Cheating during Lent

2008-02-26T08:09:00.002-05:00

We've looked at why some people choose to "give up" something during Lent, and other to "take on" something during Lent. But, what happens when we "cheat" during Lent? Let's say you've given up honking your horn at other drivers for Lent, but this morning, during the thunderstorm, you discovered your usual route was blocked by downed tree limbs, so you had to take an alternate route, and it was CONGESTED with drivers like you who don't normally take that route. There was confusion and frustrations ran high, and before you knew it, you hit the horn at that driver on their cell phone who caused you to have to sit through the light because of their lack of attention. What now?

Welcome to humanity! We are not perfect people, and the purpose of Lent is not to make us perfect. Rather, Lent affords us the opportunity to examine our lives and make a concentrated effort to be better people and live in kinder, gentler ways. We are not God, we are simply endeavoring to become more like God in the way we treat ourselves and others. So, while you should be aware that you have broken your Lenten promise, it's not a matter of life and death (unless you scared the other driver so much you caused an accident!). Just use the opportunity to observe in yourself what you did and resolve to not let it happen again. Lent is a journey and sometimes the path forks alongs the way. Just keep your eye on where you want to end up (a loving and peaceful person who is part of a loving and peaceful world) and if you get off track, just get back on!

Hunger

2008-02-20T17:27:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we looked at gratitude, particularly as it regards food. Today, I want to look at hunger. It goes without saying that there is a lot of hunger in the world. Some of this hunger is for basic nourishment. We sometimes think of the hungry and starving people in developing countries, or in homeless camps in our cities, and we are called, as Christians, to try to alleviate hunger in the world. No one should ever have to go to bed with an empty belly. Many of us make an intentional effort to focus on this type of hunger during Lent and often make special donations to feed the hungry. This is something we should and must do during Lent and year round.

However, today I want you to reflect on a different type of hunger. I know all of you, so I think I can safely say you all have plenty to eat. But we all have a hunger inside. What do you hunger for? What is missing in your life? Do you long for something you can name? Or is your longing nebulous and frustrating?

Sometimes I wander into the kitchen at night and just open the refridgerator or the pantry and stand there and stare into them. I want something, but I can't always put my finger on what it is I want. Sometimes I know I want something sweet. Othertimes salty. Most times I have no idea. I usually end up settling for something that ends up being unsatisfying.

Lent is an excellent time to figure out what it is you hunger for. Do you long for a creative outlet? Do you hunger for a passionate relationship or for renewed passion in your existing relationships? Are you wandering about from volunteer job to committee to organization and yet you find your work unsatisfying?

Often we know something is missing, but we can't quite put our finger on what it is that we want. Reflect for a time today on what it is you hunger for, and then ask God to open the doors that will lead you to satiation. Then resolve to stop using your resources and precious energies on those things that bring you no satisfaction, and focus on the thing that you really hunger for.

Spiritual Disciplines and Gratitude

2008-02-19T09:07:00.003-05:00

I've tossed around the term "spiritual discipline" a few times during this Lenten season, so I'd like to clarify what I mean. A spiritual discipline is any habit or activity done with intention that helps us be more "in touch" with our spirituality and with God. During Lent, many of us choose one discipline (like fasting, prayer, self-denial, service to the marginalized, etc.) to focus on in order to try to integrate it into our lives in order to become more spiritually connected.

It really matters not which of the disciplines you choose for your Lenten focus. What matters is that you practice it on a consistent basis for the 40 days of Lent. One discipline that I have found to be particularly meaningful for me is the practice of giving thanks for meals. This does not have to be done in a public or showy way, in fact scripture specifically instructs that our prayers should be private, however it is important that it be done with intentionality. You don't have to bow your head or join hands at the table (although there is certainly nothing wrong with doing those things and in fact, that can be a lovely and meaningful moment with those with whom you are sharing your meal) or make a big deal about it, just offer up a word or thought of gratitude.

I think it's great to be thankful that we have food on the table, but what I really connect with is the realization, at each meal, that there are many people who are instrumental in delivering this food to me. I try to remember to be grateful for the farmers who grow the food, the workers who harvest the food, nature for supplying the sun and the rain to nourish the food, the people who process and package the food, the truck drivers who ferry the food to the store, the workers in the store who stock the food, the clerk who puts the food in the bag, etc., even the government workers who try to keep our food supplies safe. A meal becomes almost a song of praise to God for the beautiful system we have here in the US for food. Of course it's not flawless, but there are lots of people who work in beautiful concert to feed us, and saying thanks before a meal should encompass something greater than just being thankful that you are not hungry. Now, I don't necessarily go through that entire list of people in my mind every time I pray my thanks at mealtime, but I do try to be conscious and aware of how many people are involved in getting my food to the table, and I am grateful to them.

So tonight, as you sit down to your meal, offer up a little prayer of gratitude not only for the abundance of your food, but also for all the folks who get it to you. If you do this for the period of Lent, it will grow in your heart an appreciation for others who help to provide nourishment for your body, and this in turn, will nourish you on your spiritual journey.

With a grateful heart.
Teresa

What difference does Lent make?

2008-02-18T13:00:00.004-05:00

So we've been focusing on some of the "tools" used during Lent to assist us in introspection about ourselves and our part in the global and universal good, but really, why does it matter? Can one person really make a difference in this world? You may be thinking, "Sure, if you are Mother Teresa or the president of the United States, or someone really important, but just the average person? Nah." Well, I disagree.

There have been a few people in my life who had a tremendously positive influence on me. I'm sure you can think of a few in your own life if you try. Sometimes I think about how my life might have gone if I had not had those people in my life, or if they had not been the positive and loving influences they've been, and I think I can say with confidence that the world would have been a very different place if those people had not interacted with me the way they did.

It's like a ripple effect in a still pond. If you toss a pebble in the middle of the pond, no matter how small the pebble, you'll see rings ripple out all across the surface of the pond. Fish are darting, tiny single-celled creatures are activated. Maybe one of those fish that darts away from the disturbance of the ripple sees an insect on the surface of the pond and eats it. The insect's life is forever changed! Maybe the insect is a mosquito. Since it was eaten, maybe it never bites the man standing by the pond. Maybe the mosquito carries West Nile virus. Since it never bites the man he doesn't get sick. I can continue, but I think you get the point. One person can and does make a difference in the life of others. We don't even always know how or what we do, but what we do matters. That's why it's so important to take an inventory of who we are and how we act with others, and to strive to be the best we can be all the time. Because you just never know.

I'll give you a for instance from my life. As a young wife several years ago, I was thrilled to find out that after months of trying, I was pregnant. However, things did not go well, and after a long hospitalitzation, I gave birth to a son who died very shortly thereafter. For weeks a young female minister from my church had been visiting me in the hospital. Sometimes she would just sit with me and we would talk about nothing really. Other times we would talk about my fears and frustrations with the pregnancy. She officiated my son's funeral on a cold, rainy December day - just me, my husband, and Louise. She said the only real words of comfort I had during that dark time in my life, and even though we would go our separate ways and it would be 15 years before our paths would cross again, she had a profound impact on my life without even being aware of it. When I graduated from Emory with a master's in theology, I wrote to tell her what she had meant to me, and to thank her. I am a minister today partly as the result of her influence. She had no idea. You just never know when your kindness, your patience, your advice, your listening skills, your donation of money, etc., are going to save a life or radically change a life.

That's why it's so important to keep a "holy Lent" where you give sincere and conscious effort to becoming the loving member of this world that God wants. You just never know.

Be blessed, and be a blessing to others.
Teresa

Flaws

2008-02-15T07:32:00.002-05:00

So after we've taken our "fearless moral inventory" what happens when we discover those actions, prejudices, and character flaws? Lent is the time to really focus on developing new habits and becoming better people in order to make the world better. In this way, we participate in the Kingdom of God, which is another way of saying the world in which God intends for us to live.

Today, pick one thing you do and focus on it. Maybe you have a quick temper. Maybe you drive aggressively or will never let anyone cut in front of you. Maybe you overspend then lie to your spouse about it. Maybe you work too much and don't spend enough time with those you love. Maybe you are critical of others. Whatever it is you feel you would like to change, pick that one thing and focus the next month on just that. This is a fairly common way to approach a Lenten discipline. Be mindful about your focus and try to proactively stop yourself from doing the offending action. Many people feel it is helpful to wear a rubber band around their wrist as a reminder of their commitment to change. Others pick a specific time each day (say on the hour) to spend a moment reflecting on their goal in order to strengthen their resolve. Some have a small coin bank and put in a specific amount of money each time they do the offence then donate the money to the church or a charity at Easter. All of these tools work and are merely ways to reinforce our journey to our goal. And remember...what is our goal? Our goal is to remember Christ's sacrifice for us, to strive to become more like Christ, and to participate as fully as possible in being the people God designed us to be. Love ourselves, love others, and love God.

Lent is a focused time to work on becoming the beautiful loving creations that God intends.

Detours

2008-02-14T10:28:00.003-05:00

I'm taking a detour on the Lenten Meditation road today. I want you to use this day to really spend some time in deep self-reflection to try to identify those issues we've been talking about for the past week. Write down at least 5 things you want to change about yourself, or 5 negative "scripts" you let dominate your thinking, then rank them, beginning with the one that you feel would change your life most down to the least significant one. After you've done this, find a quiet place, practice your deep breathing, close your eyes, then go down your list one by one starting at the top and ask God to bless you with a new strength and clarity of purpose as you spend the next month focusing on redirecting your energy toward a more positive world in which YOU contribute your best self, your most holy self, to love and peace. Try to do this at least 3 times today. And on this day when we celebrate "romantic" love, remember that you cannot fully participate in romantic love, love of neighbor, love of stranger, or love of God until you really love yourself. So, ask God to guide you on this path, then do something nice for YOURSELF today. You are part of God's beautiful and loving creation. Celebrate that today!

Old Scripts

2008-02-13T08:48:00.002-05:00

Today we continue to look at how taking a "fearless moral inventory" is helpful during Lent. Until we come to terms with who we are and what we think and do that separates us from God and each other, we can't fully live the lives God intends for us.

Yesterday I mentioned that we all have old "scripts" in our minds, and that sometimes this interferes with us loving ourselves and others. This is often the most difficult part of taking a good look at ourselves. Some of us have scripts that are so powerful and so habitual that we can't really look at who we are, we just blindly accept what the script tells us. For example, I know a man who is intelligent, kind, and has great potential, but he made some serious mistakes in the past, and even as a small child his mother told him he was bad, and stupid, and selfish. Even though he's "learned" from his mistakes, he can't see past them and seems to review his old script, or self, in his mind. He still "sees" himself as that lost, destructive, mistake-making person who hurt his family and those he loved. He's in a sort of "arrested development" and it's holding him back from being the man he was designed by God to be.

I have those fights with myself too, but with different issues. We all do. Maybe you struggled with your weight as a child, or were a bed-wetter, or were bad in math, or someone told you once that you had no artistic ability, and you bought into that as your identity. Now, you almost feel as if you're "hiding" your true self from others, just pretending to be the "together, competent, professional, smart" or whatever other label you're assumed. Well maybe you really ARE that "together" person now. Maybe you need to let go of that old script that keeps you down.

There are some great therapies that can help you do this, and many have been helped through guided imagery and/or hypnosis, but you can start today, right now, by looking deeply into yourself and trying to identify those negative scripts you run in your head about yourself, and then finding some words of affirmation to counter them. One that I like to use is "God created me, and all of God's creation is good. I am a beautiful and loving part of God's creation." You come up with your own. Just remember to use it whenever you find yourself buying into the negative thoughts you have about yourself. Thoughts and words are powerful. Try to keep your thoughts and words positive and affirming, both to yourself and to others. Make this part of your Lenten practice. Try being only affirming and positive from now until Easter and I can almost guarantee it will change the way you interact with the world.

Tomorrow we take a different turn and discuss how to deal with those truly negative attributes and actions we have. What if your moral inventory reveals to you that you behave in ways that are hurtful to those around you, or even to yourself? What then?

Wishing you a blessed and holy Lent.

Looking Deeply

2008-02-12T09:01:00.000-05:00

So today we continue to look at how we take a "fearless moral inventory" of our lives in order to remove those obstacles that keep us from being the people God intends us to be.

As I mentioned yesterday, this idea of an inventory is borrowed from AA's 12-Step Program (but has strong scriptural roots!). Here is what the Big Book says:

"A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations." -A.A. Big Book p.64

That has always been a powerful bit of writing to me. What we must ask ourselves, I think, is do we underestimate who we are or overestimate who we are? Do we magnify every character (and physical) flaw, or do we minimize our shortcomings? And do we even have the ability to know which we do? In other words, are we lying TO ourselves ABOUT ourselves? That's where the fearless moral inventory comes in. Lent is a great time to really search our souls, to look deeply inside ourselves and honestly assess who we are. Sometimes we don't like what we see. Other times we may discover that because of old scripts in our minds, we're unnecessarily hard on ourselves. This moral inventory is critical to starting to love ourselves, and to target specific traits we wish to improve. It's also a time to really understand God's grace and mercy. God loves us in spite of our flaws and foibles, but also enables us to become better through the life, teachings, example, and grace of Christ.

One good way to begin this moral inventory is to set aside at least 10-15 minutes each day to spend in meditation. Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable spot, but not so comfortable that you fall asleep! Take some deep, calming breaths. Close your eyes. (For an excellent article on breathing, go to http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/ART00521.) Then just spend some quiet time with yourself. If your mind wanders to other people or circumstances, dismiss those thoughts and bring your mind back around to yourself. Really try to look at your actions, your attitudes, and your emotions and begin to look at those parts of yourself that you feel need some work. Do this each morning for the first couple of weeks of Lent. During the day, be intentional about your actions and reactions. If you become angry or sad or frustrated or irritated or judgmental, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself if you are manifesting the person you want to be, your best self, the creation that God intends you to be, full of love for self, for God, and for others. And remember, you can't control anyone else, but you can control your own actions and reactions.

Lastly, before you go to sleep at night, ask God to reveal to you God's love for you so that you can show that love to yourself and to others.

Lent-Fearless Moral Inventory

2008-02-11T10:37:00.000-05:00

One of the traditions of the Twelve Step Program in AA is to take a “fearless moral inventory” of your life. I think this is something everyone should do on a regular basis, and Lent is the perfect time to do so.

What does it mean, exactly, to take this “fearless moral inventory”? I suggest setting aside 20 minutes each morning or last thing at night to really spend some time with yourself, looking at who you are and what you want to change about yourself. Some things might be obvious. For instance, I have an ongoing challenge being patient. I don’t have to look very deeply into myself to know that I am not a patient person with others or with myself. I know this is something I need to work on changing. And, in moments when I forget this, I have two very bright and articulate children who remind me! You may have something obvious like this in your life. Maybe you are quick to anger, or maybe you overspend your budget (or don’t HAVE a budget!) on a regular basis, or maybe you eat for comfort, or…you get the idea. Lent is an excellent time to really take stock of those areas of your life that need to be addressed.

But maybe some of the work you need to do lies underneath the obvious. Maybe impatience and irritability are symptoms of an underlying medical or psychological issue that should be addressed. Maybe the overspending or overeating are things you do to seek comfort because of a broken relationship or a poor self-image. Maybe the procrastination about cleaning out your closet is grounded in financial insecurity, or selfishness, or fear. Lent is the time when we look deeply and honestly at ourselves and identify those areas where we know there is work left undone.

A “fearless moral inventory” is when we really look at who we are and ask ourselves if we are the people that God created us to be. God created us to love ourselves, to love each other, and to love God. What in your life is standing in the way of this love?

Tomorrow we will explore specific ways to take this inventory and begin to work through the issues and challenges that keep us from being the loving creations that God intends.

(p.s. I’ve been called to jury duty this week, so please bear with me. I’ll either have time to write a lot everyday because I’m sitting in the assembly room, or be running behind on everything because I’ve been seated on a jury!)

Purple?

2008-02-09T06:03:00.000-05:00

The Christian calendar is divided into seasons with accompanying feasts, observances, and colors. This is usually referred to as a liturgical year. Many churches follow the Revised Common Lectionary as well, which runs in 3 year cycles (years A, B, and C) and provides a systematic way of approaching scripture for use in teachings, devotionals, and other applications. (More on this when I do my blog on the lectionary!) You may notice when passing some churches this time of year that there is a cross outside draped in purple fabric. Purple is the traditional color for Lent. Purple symbolizes royalty and is a recognition of the unique person of Jesus as God incarnate, "king" and long-awaited Messiah-the Christ. Purple is also a symbol for the pain and suffering of Jesus in the time leading up to his crucifixion and also calls us to recognize the suffering of humanity.

Many churches also use purple vestments (garments worn by clergy) and paraments (fabric used in altar arrangements on lecturns, pulpits, and the altar table) during Lent.

Later in the season, just before Easter, the purple is replaced with either black or gray. I will explain more about this later, but if you are able, please plan to attend a Maundy Thursday (also known as Holy Thursday) or Tenebrae service and witness this dramatic and very moving service. More on this later.

Fasting

2008-02-08T08:32:00.000-05:00

Many people focus on prayer, fasting, and giving to charities, or almsgiving, during Lent. For most, fasting takes the form of "giving up" a particular food or treat, such as meat, alcohol, candy and sweets, etc. For some people, fasting is both a constant reminder that we are preparing for Easter, and also a way to, in some very small way, participate in suffering. But fasting has merit and value that can be profound.

I think fasting, in some form, is a very valuable spiritual practice, during Lent and all year. Some recent studies have shown that fasting one day a month is even good for your health. (Click here for a CNN article on fasting and heart health.) Given our heavy Western diet, taking a day off here and there and letting our bodies rest seems wise. Given the increased energy it takes to produce meat, it seems that abstaining from eating meat once a week (or more) is an easy way to stand in solidarity with the poor and hungry. If you donate the money you save from a weekly or monthly fast (or abstinance from meat) to your local food bank or world hunger organization, you can and will make a significant difference in feeding the hungry. So, fasting is good for you as an individual, good for the world, and acts as a reminder of the suffering of Jesus as well as bringing you in concert with the suffering of others in the world.

So during the next days leading up to Easter, I encourage you to integrate some form of fasting into your daily life. And when you do eat, really think about where your food comes from and feel gratitude for the farmers and other laborers who grow your food and deliver it to you. When you deny yourself something you really want, stop and take a moment to remember that there are people across the world, and right in your community, who are consistently and chronically hungry, and consider a donation of food or money to the food bank.

I have found that fasting can be healing, challenging, and personally transforming. I hope you will explore this wonderful spiritual practice.

If you want to know more about fasting and how to fast safely, please click here for an excellent article from Vanderbilt University on fasting which includes some great links.

Why 40 Days?

2008-02-07T16:17:00.001-05:00

The season of Lent spans a 40 day period beginning on Ash Wednesday and ending the Saturday before Easter. Now, if you're astute about the calendar, you may realize that there are more than 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter! That's because the 6 Sundays that occur during this time are not counted. (That's why you may hear a reference to the Sundays in Lent, rather than the Sundays of Lent.)

40 is also just a very significant number in biblical literature. For instance, scriptures tells us that Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness struggling with temptation, before the Great Flood it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, etc. What I also find significant is that most personal trainers, psychologists, and coaches will tell you that it takes between 30 and 40 days (give or take a few) to "re-train" yourself in a new habit. So, if you decide to eat healthier, or start exercising, or commit to floss your teeth every day, it takes somewhere around 40 days to really get that routine ingrained in your life. So when we commit to a spiritual habit for 40 days, we may actually be able to integrate that into ourselves in a meaningful and significant way.

Next time, I'll talk about some of the things that people "give up" or "take on" for Lent, and how they can be excellent tools for the transformation of our lives.

Lent-Ash Wednesday

2008-02-06T14:39:00.000-05:00

Living Richly

2008-01-31T15:51:00.000-05:00

Today I had the delight of meeting a new friend - one of those people who is so refreshing, grounded, and accessible that it just makes the day seem...richer. When I got home, I started thinking about what it is to live richly. Lately it seems that every time I turn on the television or read the on-line news services, there is nothing but impending financial doom. From rumors of recession to the crash of the real estate market, to record numbers of forclosures to escalating consumer debt, many of us are finding ourselves watching our pennies and trimming our budgets. What does it mean to live richly?

Last year my family became a statistic. My husband became a casuality of the downturn in the real estate market and lost his job as a title examiner, a job that had provided quite nicely for our creature comforts. We started looking for creative ways to live well in spite of this misfortune, and found that we could feed our gardening habit by exchanging plants, bartering for plants, and shopping the "soon to be thrown out" bins at the local gardening center. In this process, we even made some new friends - fellow gardening junkies - and in spite of the job situation, we ended up with a lovely garden (until the drought, but that's for another post...) We also started to shop smarter, and connected with a network of fellow cheapies and found that it's almost fun (and somewhat competitive) to see who can purchase the most food for the least money. In fact, we got so good at this that we have been able to pretty consistently donate several bags of food to a local ministry. We lived richly, not just in that we were able to more or less maintain our "standard of living" while my husband was under-employed, but in the connections and friendships that were established. And we were humbled. We became more compassionate, more generous with our resources, more aware of our over-consumption, and more creative and intentional in our use of time and money. We discovered that we lived more "in community" than we had in the recent past, and were thankful that we had food on our table and a roof over our heads. And we found our hearts broken - broken for those who were not as lucky as we are - those who were hungry or lonely or hopeless. And we found that a big of part of living richly is the realization that hope and peace are not grounded in what we have in the bank, but rather in living the fullness of life in generosity, thankfulness, and humility.

About the time all this happened to us, the 12-year-old son of a friend was diagnosed with cancer. I know that his family has a renewed understanding now of what it means to live richly, to enjoy those moments of grace and peace and respite from suffering, and to be thankful to God for the gift of life.

Each evening as we sit down to dinner with our children, I take a moment to look at them - really look at them - at the miracles that they are - and I live richly, deeply, and fully in gratitude and thanks. I wish each of you those moments of grace that remind us that the richness of life is in the beauty of relationship and community.

Jan 24 Paper or Plastic?

2008-01-24T08:29:00.000-05:00

Since I believe that spirituality and life are intertwined and therefore our spiritual beliefs must influence our everyday choices, you will sometimes, okay often, see things on this blog that seem to have little to do with religion. That's by design. Too often our "religion" is what we "believe" but how we live is not consistent with our beliefs.

Most Christians would say that they absolutely believe that we are part of a large creation and designed to live in harmony with the rest of creation. But how much do we really do to care for creation? Often, very little. Many people feel there is little an individual can do to affect our environment. I wonder if that's even the point? Maybe what we should be asking is what choices can I make, as an individual, that show love and respect for all of God's creation? We are a collective consciousness, and collectively we can and do have tremendous influence on policy and implementation for environmental issues. The individual choices we make do matter, because we can either contribute to the collective good or participate in the ongoing destruction of creation.

One example is a trip to the grocery store. There are conflicting camps on the issue of paper versus plastic bags and which are best for the environment. In reality, both have serious problems that I won't go into here, but there is a lot of info out there if you're interested. For me, there seems a better option - reusable bags. Several months ago we invested in several sturdy, reusable bags, and we try to use them every time we shop. We've found that the coated square-bottomed bags with handles are our favorites and carry a large amount of groceries. We got ours at Trader Joe's but use them at all the major chains. We also have a few of the canvas bags, but they don't hold as much or feel as stable.

It was in the news recently that Whole Foods will no longer be offering plastic bags. This is a bold move and I applaud their leadership in this area. Once this idea hits the "tipping point" and grows in mainstream use, it will make a significant difference in the health of creation.

I encourage you to invest in some good reusable grocery bags and keep them in your car so you remember to use them. This small step will make a real contribution to the health of God's creation.

Whole Foods will also credit you $.05 for each plastic bag you bring in. If you take in 20 bags of any kind, that will pay for 1 reusable bag! So gather up your disposable plastic bags and go to Whole Foods and trade them in for a reusable bag made from recycled plastic bottles. It's a win-win!

Here is a link to the story about Whole Foods for those of you who wish to learn more:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/23/business/23bags.html?_r=2&ex=1358830800&en=7061ed61dd36b6bf&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&ore&oref=slogin

January 23, 2008

2008-01-23T19:05:00.000-05:00

Someone sent me an email today asking me about Lent - what it is - who observes it and why - what it means, so I've decided to ramble about it for 40 days beginning on Ash Wednesday, which this year falls on Feb. 6. Well, I won't so much ramble as I'll share some background on Lent, share my own Lenten practices, and offer up some ideas you may want to consider on your journey. I have my own take on Lent, and believe it's by and large misunderstood even by religious types. I hope you'll join me. You can even sign up to receive the daily postings in your inbox if you wish. Just email me and I'll add you to the list. Between now and then I may have some other stream-of-consciousness musings, so please check back. You can also see what Sacred Tapestry is up to at http://www.sacredtapestry.com/.

The Journey Begins

2007-08-21T13:37:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Welcome. It's with humility, fear, excitment, gratitude, and a myriad of other emotions that I begin this journey with you. It has been a dream of mine to start a new "experience" that is totally different than anything currently being offered in Atlanta. It's a place where people with doubts, questions, and maybe even some healthy skepticism can come and hear excellent music (no hymns and no contemporary "praise" music....this is professional jazz and acoustic music that folks usually pay to hear), have a great cup of coffee or tea, a bite to eat, and engage in some thoughts about theology. No pressure. No judgments. I envision a place where you can take care of your body too, and meet other people who don't "do church". Maybe a place where we look at contemporary film and literature with the lens of theology. I want a community that is socially and environmentally responsible - and a place where we can do some work with local charities.

I know some of you are involved in church already, and I know some of you would rather not set foot in a church ever, but I also believe that most of you have a real interest in spirituality and in some way are "seeking God" and I would really like to hear your thoughts about this new idea.

For reasons I can't explain, I've actually been given the opportunity to start this new community here in metro Atlanta. I'll keep you up to date on progress as there is something to report. Truthfully, there is a lot of work going on behind-the-scenes right now, and some great events scheduled for this fall, so keep checking back.

You can reach me via email at teresa@sacredtapestry.com.

Hang onto your seats. This promises to be an interesting and eventful ride!

Teresa