Entering the Wilderness

When we travel, we all want things to go smoothly, to have fun, and to stay safe.  But not all journeys are like that.  Such is the journey through Lent, which we embark upon today.

Today is Ash Wednesday, a day when we are reminded that life is fleeting, and often too short, and that we waste a lot of it.  It is a day when we mark the beginning of a journey, one that takes us inside ourselves, where we take that fearless moral inventory, face our demons, are confronted with temptation, and ultimately, where we face our greatest questions about faith and God. 

It is not an easy journey.  It is dangerous, and scary, to stare into the reality of our mortality, at the reality of who we really are and how we are spending the life we have been given, and then to look into the face of God and see how we measure up to being the person that God created us to be, in God's own image, with God's own spirit residing in us. 

I cannot pray for any of us to have an easy journey.  Rather, I pray for us to have a brave one, to be fearless and honest and willing. 

Wishing you a holy Lent,

Teresa

Yes, it's NYE 2011

I know a lot of you don't do resolutions, but I do.  For me, it's important both to assess my life over time and to set goals.  If you know me at all, you know I'm very, well, results driven. 

To that end, I'm sharing my resolutions/intentions/goals for 2012.  First off, the changes I need to make in my life will directly impact some of you!  As I let go of some responsibilities in order to live a healthier, more balanced life, some of what I do will need to be done by others, especially in my work life.  Secondly, I think some of my struggles, especially over the past five years, might resonate with many of you. 

So, here goes, along with some commentary about how and why I've chosen these particular goals:

LESS PROCESSED FOOD/NO SUGAR

Seems this one speaks for itself.  My goal is to cut out sweets entirely with the exception of VERY rare special occasions.  I have to be honest.  This will likely be the resolution I struggle with the most.  I am ADDICTED to sugar, but I know it's poison.  I'm also hopeful to eat at least 50% of my food raw.

LIMIT WORK TO NO MORE THAN 57 HOURS A WEEK + TAKE ALL VACATION
Yes.  I mean this.  A dear friend and very wise priest advised me in 2011 to do this, but I have to admit, I failed miserably.  Miserably.  Not even close.  However, my work ethic, recently described as "relentless" (which I had never realized and honestly, hurt my feelings terribly), is becoming counter-productive and unhealthy.  Since I planted Sacred Tapestry (and I admit, I've always been something of a workaholic, but it's gotten exponentially worse) over five years ago, I've put in 70 hour weeks almost non-stop and taken very little time off.  This has hurt my family, my relationships, my health, and my soul.  God commanded sabbath, every single week, for a reason.  Jesus went off alone for a reason.  I've tried to (wo)man handle the natural cycle of rest/work/play to fit my agenda, and I simply cannot keep up the pace.  I've seen my work life as a sprint, and it's really a marathon.  If I don't start to pace myself better, I'm not going to finish the race.  (Had to finish that metaphor though!)  So, I'm setting boundaries with work, and I'm taking every single minute of off time and vacation time I have in 2012, and I have 5 weeks of vacation, 2 weeks of continuing education time, and may need renewal leave.  I'm exhausted and burning out.  I love Sacred Tapestry and everyone in it.  In fact, I love you all enough to tell you that I've got to establish some boundaries, rest every week, and ask others to help more.  So look out!   But, I'll be a better spiritual leader.  Of this I am sure.

MOVE MY BODY EVERYDAY + MEDITATION/YOGA
Until I launched Sacred Tapestry, I practiced yoga on a regular basis and exercised at least 3 times a week.  I had a strong prayer life, and meditation was an important part of my personal spiritual practice.  As I age, I am finding that I need this MORE, not less.  I want to be around and healthy for my family for many years to come. 

READ 52 BOOKS IN 52 WEEKS
I used to read all the time.  It made me a better writer.  It gave me great ideas for sermons.  It relaxed me.  I wrote for a living, and every good writer I know is an avid reader.  That has been lost over the last 10 years as I've gotten two advanced degrees.  Most of my reading has been academic in nature.  That's great, but I miss reading for pleasure.  So, a book a week is my goal.  So far, I'm on track.  I've already read a book this week and I'm half way to finishing another.  :)

BE LESS REACTIVE
I think this stands alone.  My goal is to listen more and say less, in every situation. 

RELAX/ENJOY FAMILY & FRIENDS MORE
I have some amazing, interesting, loyal friends, and I've not been a good friend at all to them for the last 5 years.  Work has consumed me.  I am very grateful that some of you have maintained effort with me even when I've been less than you deserved.  That will change in 2012.  Some of you have been my friends for all of my adult life.  Some of you are newer friends.  But  all of you are people I love, admire, and truly want to spend time with, so I will try to make that happen more often.  Forgive me.  And I will be more open to making new friends too.  I love my work, but I need to leave it behind more.  I want to laugh more.  I want to cook more.  I want to enjoy my brilliant son's last full year living at home before he goes off to college, and spend more time with and admiring my grown daughter, who has become one of the finest, smartest, most interesting women I know.  I want to spend more time smiling at my husband and less time passing like ships in the night.  I want to romance him and be romanced by him.  All that requires intention and time. 

So, there are my 2012 resolutions.  It's mostly about balance, which I readily admit my life has lacked, especially for the last 5 years. 

So, Happy New Year to all of you.  I know God will richly bless you in 2012 because God always richly blesses us.  Sometimes, like me, we are just too busy to notice.  This coming year, I intend to notice, and I intend to enjoy God's blessings in my life.  May you do the same.

Teresa

Lightening up

I realized something today.  I don't laugh enough.  I don't laugh often enough and I don't laugh hard enough.  You know, that can't catch your breath, crying, think you might throw up sort of laughing.  I used to laugh like that all the time.

I miss it.

So if you see me laughing, join me.  We'll both feel better.

What choices will you make this week?

As we contemplate our choices, our failures, our shortcomings, our temptations, and the grace under which we live, I offer you this, from my friend Lynn Buckley.  This will be my personal morning devotion every morning this week.  I encourage you to do the same if you can.

Blessings,
Teresa

The Choice by Max Lucado
IT’S QUIET. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep.. The day is coming.
In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun.. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary , I’m free to choose.

And so I choose.
I choose love . . .
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.
I choose joy . . .
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical . . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I choose peace . . .
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I choose patience . . .
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I choose kindness . . .
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I choose goodness . . .
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I choose faithfulness . . .
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their parent will desert them.
I choose gentleness . . .
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I choose self-control . . .
I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when my days are done, when my book is closed, I will rest in His love, not the cold, hard re-purposed ground.
From When God Whispers Your Name Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1999) Max Lucado

Be the change you want to see

I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be?

Today's writing challenge hits pretty close to home.

We all project so much onto others.  We make others responsible for our happiness.  We say we are trapped by circumstances.  But here is the truth as I see it.  Life is a series of choices, and each choice we make takes us closer to our true self, our highest self, or away from who we really are, who we can be.

If I don't like my job, I can change it.  Sure, it will bring consequences that affect not only me, but my family, but those are just challenges to overcome and adaptations to make.  If I am not happy in my relationships, rather than bemoan my loneliness and rejection I can be the partner, friend, child, parent, employee, leader, (fill in the blank...these are examples here folks) that I need, and that almost always results in improved relationship with those around me.

And, in the end, I am responsible to myself and to God.  That's it.  But those are some very high standards, and I'm grateful for that.

How much energy, how much life, do we waste complaining that things and people are not as we want them to be?  What if we directed that energy, spent that life, making sure we rise to our own highest expectations of other?  What would our lives look like?  Who would we be?

Life is a series of choices.  Today, I plan to make choices that reflect my truest nature, that reflect the divine, or at least make the best choices I can.  Because I will project onto others my own nature.

The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters

The secret of fortune is joy in our hands. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What if today, right now, no jokes at all, you were actually in charge, the boss, the Head Honcho. Write the “call to arms” note you’re sending to everyone (staff, customers, suppliers, Board) charting the path ahead for the next 12 months and the next 5 years. Now take this manifesto, print it out somewhere you can see, preferably in big letters you can read from your chair.
You’re just written your own job description. You know what you have to do. Go!
(bonus: send it to the CEO with the title “The things we absolutely have to get right – nothing else matters.”)
(Author: Sasha Dichter)

Writing challenge:  Okay Seth.  You asked for it.  You got it.

We all have to chip in.  No excuses.  It takes a village so stop being a consumer and start being a producer.  That means time, money, work.  Not one of them.  Not two of them.  All of them.  This isn't a country club.  This is life and we all get one shot at it.  Make it count for something.

It's not all about you.  Some of it's about you, but not much.  If you keep making it all about you, you will miss out on what really makes life worth living.  Get over yourself.

We have to stop building an institution.  This nostalgia for the past is hurting our chances at an amazing future.  Be grateful for the past and what it's taught us but don't hold onto it so tightly that you make a memory more important than the experience of a new paradigm.  Things don't have to stay the same to be really great.

Lighten up.  In every way.  We've become mired in "stuff" and "things" and spend far too much of our lives pursuing it all.  Clean out, give away, throw away, recycle, and bless someone else.  You don't need it.  If you really are honest with yourself, you don't really even want it.

Try something new every day, and if you can't do that, at least try something new every week.  Take a different route.  Eat a new food.  Vary your routine.  It's liberating.  Try it.

Get rid of the toxic.  Whether it's cleaning products or people.  Move on.  Make healthy choices.

Be grateful.  Stop wanting what you don't have because most of us want what we are told to want, not what we really want anyway. 

Breathe. 

Pray.

Be a friend.  Pay attention.  Set the table every single night even if you are eating alone. 

Call someone who loves you that you don't spend much time with anymore and don't rush the conversation. 

Say "I love you" even if it makes you feel weird, or scared, or stupid, or even if you're afraid they won't say it back, and be happy you did it no matter what they say.  You can't control what anyone else says or does so stop trying.

Be authentically you.  There is no one else who can do that.

Now go and do it.  That's all for now!  But I reserve the right to revise this list at my will and whim!

Be blessed, and be a blessing.

Dang Seth.  Just....dang.

When talking is a waste of time and energy

Today's writing challenge:
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I once received a fortune cookie that read: “Speak less of your plans, you’ll get more done.” What’s one project that you’ve been sitting on and thinking about but haven’t made progress on? What’s stopping you? What would happen if you actually went for it and did it?
(Author: Laura Kimball)

I read once that talking about your plans has the same effect in your mind as actually accomplishing your plan, which can spell disaster.  In other words, if you tell people about your plan, your mind thinks the plan has actually been implemented, so you lose your motivation to realize it.

Often, when I have something really big I want to do, I don't say much about it until I'm ready to take action on it, or have already begun to act on it.  In doing so, I keep the momentum to work on the plan, realize the plan, see it to fruition.  It's not real to me yet, in part, because I have not talked to others about it. 

What this means is that sometimes I surprise people.  My actions seem impulsive.  But there is almost nothing impulsive about me. I am pretty decisive, but almost never impulsive.  I like to think I just plug away at a good idea until I get close to accomplishing it, then I reveal it.  But I've been working on it all along. 

Do you talk too much about your ideas, never putting them into action?  Don't trick your mind by talking through things too much.  Keep your dialog internal, or share with a close friend, or journal about it, but keep channeling your energy into the realization of the project rather than expending it talking about the project.

When I presented the idea for Sacred Tapestry to the Dir. of New Church Development, I had not talked to anyone about it, and yet, it was a very fully developed concept.  The very first time I talked about it, I had already visioned it and worked through the details.  By doing this, my presentation was decisive, well thought out, and complete.  All that I needed to do once I got approval was to launch!

I'm working on some new ideas even now, but I won't talk about any of it yet.  So hold on!  Some new things, big things, may well roll out in the next year to 18 months.  And don't think I'm impulsive.  I've been working on it all along. 

Are you talking too much and doing too little to make your dreams a reality? Stop talking and start doing~

Cheers!
Teresa