What is reality?

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

 I believe in the impermanence of the present, and by that I mean that I believe the things and places that we live in are, to some extent, illusions.  Now, before I get too lofty, philosophical, and immersed in physics, let me just say that the bottom line is that I believe our reality lies within, not in the physical realm in which we often live.  Consequently, after the initial thrill wears off, I often become bored.

That manifests in several ways.  I like to move.  I can't imagine living in one place my entire life.  Even within the same city, I get the urge to sell the house and find a "fresh palette."  I love to travel but rarely want to visit the same place twice.  I enjoy new challenges, fresh faces.

That's not to say I do not love the familiar.  I don't want a new husband and I could look into the faces of my children every day for the rest of my life!  This is not about instability in relationships.  It's about a sort of restlessness in the physical world.  I don't sit still well.  I like to be on the move.  I like to see new vistas.  I like innovation.

I believe the world in which we dwell is vastly richer than most people experience, not only in physical location (not everyone has my wanderlust) but also in dimension.  I understand that many people find security and comfort in staying put.  I guess there is something charming, for some, about returning to the same place year after year for vacation, but that would make me want to scream.  I've just never been attached to place.  I'm not sentimental about places.  I would be bored beyond measure returning again and again to the same place.  I do not need a touchstone...I'm not a hoarder of stuff...furniture is just furniture...why walk down the same street twice...why revisit the same classroom.  But I am a hoarder of experiences.

My reality resides inside of myself, and in the connection I have to those I love.  Where I am matters not.  My spirit longs to engage with a broader reality that is not bound by time or space.

Bring on the new!

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

Today's writing challenge.

Over the next 24 hours, you are trading in a day of your life for whatever you choose to do, so choose wisely and show love, compassion, and kindness.

Fear

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

That is my writing assignment for today.

I have fought fear almost all my life. I just hide it well. I've been afraid of heights, afraid of my own anger, afraid of loneliness, afraid that something bad might happen to one of my children, afraid of looking foolish, afraid of speaking my mind, afraid of the anger of others.

Right now the most pressing fear I have concerns the financial health of Sacred Tapestry, this amazing, innovative, healing, holy ministry that I serve. I'm afraid that unless the hearts of the congregation open in a big way our future may not be what we hope. No...that's letting my fear speak. Here is the real truth, I'm afraid that we won't make it. There. I said it. I have kept my tongue and put on a smile and a brave front mainly because I didn't want anyone jumping ship for fear the ship is sinking, but the truth is, we are taking on water, fast. For the first time since opening in February of 2007, we cannot pay our bills this month.

No one wants to hear the church talk about money. I get that. No one feels they have too much and are just looking for a place to put their extra dollars. I get that too. But my fear is unless there is a real, serious, ongoing financial commitment to Sacred Tapestry on the part of all involved, this vibrant, special community may end.

The challenge for today is to "write the story that has to be written" without letting fear stop me, so I have. It's right out there, ugly, visible, and honest. But my need to be transparent is greater than my fear that any mention of money will drive folks out of church.

My hope and prayer is that many will look into their hearts, and bank accounts, and decide that keeping Sacred Tapestry open and thriving is more important than eating out and vacations and jewelry and all the other "stuff" we spend money on, that community and having a safe place to come and express doubt, fear, and pain is more important than vacations and salons. My hope is that you will take your own 15 minutes and write something true in your own life that may make you feel vulnerable and a little scared, because I know that it's in those places of vulnerability and fear that we find God.

With a vulnerable heart,

Teresa

Ash Wednesday

Hello friends. This is a re-run (with no commercial breaks!) of my blog post from 2008. A few of you are from traditions that do not observe Lent, so my hope is that this will give you a basic understanding of what today is about. Blessings for a holy Lent!
Teresa

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Lent-Ash Wednesday

Today is the first day of the season of Lent. There is a good bit of confusion about what Lent is, so over the next 40 days leading up to Easter, I will share with you some of the history of Lent, but more importantly, I will offer you some suggestions about how to observe Lent and why I think it's important. I will make these musings brief, and encourage you to send me any questions you may have.

Lent originated in the 4th century, and was initially a time for people who were to be baptized at Easter to prepare for their baptism. Since baptism is an act of introduction into a community of faith, (more on this when I do my series on baptism!), the entire community was called to this "time of preparation." Additionally, those people who had been removed from the fellowship of the church (for a number of reasons that are not particularly important for us to get into at this time) were also called to this time of self-examination, prayer, fasting, and introspection before their re-introduction to the church.

Many of you know that today is Ash Wednesday, and you may see people walking around with black marks on their foreheads! Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, and the ashes symbolize our humility before God, and our recognition that we are mortal. It is a time when we reflect on what we need to change in our lives in order to be the person that God intends us to be, to live responsibly and lovingly as a member of the created world. I hope you'll join me as we look more deeply at the observance of Lent over the next 40 days, take a fearless moral inventory of our lives, and look for ways to find more love, peace, and fulfillment in our lives. I look forward to making this journey with each of you.

A Change of Seasons

Our hostas and lilies are beginning to poke up through the soil. I love this time of year when the garden begins to come alive with new growth. But it also signals a time to re-evaluate things. For instance, the hosta bed by the mailbox is too crowded. It was uncomfortably so last season, and I can tell already that we need to divide the plants this year. I'm always a little worried about dividing plants. I worry that I won't space the re-plants well and I'll have gaps. I worry I might damage a plant in the process and lose it. If I decide on a new garden design, I worry it won't look as good as the old one. I fret over the garden.

Ultimately, I get out the shovel and go at it, and yes, I occasionally lose a plant, and I'm sad, but I can honestly say that each year, our garden gets more beautiful.

So I dig and re-vision. I divide and re-plant. And then I have plants to share with friends.

Church is a lot like that. In the past 3 years, we have created something really beautiful at Sacred Tapestry. We have worked and cultivated and fertilized and grown something that has been a joy and a blessing to many. Now, we're getting a bit crowded. It's time to think about a plan for moving forward. And that's a little intimidating.

But I don't see it as division. I see it as multiplication. I see it as creating new worship experiences to share with more people, and that's exciting.

Healthy growth blesses us so that we can bless others. We get to share.

Here is to a new season of growth and health!

Teresa

No Man Left Behind

I don't come from a military family. My cousin is career Air Force and my step-father was career Navy, but retired before I ever met him. But I've always heard the expression "no man left behind" in the context that a good soldier never leaves a comrade on the battlefield, and I've always admired that concept.

I vacillate between two extremes. Upon occasion, I feel that we make the journey that is our life essentially alone. Yes, sometimes we have company along the way, but often, for some people, the real journey is a pretty solitary one. Other times, I affirm the idea that while our companions along the way may change at times, we journey together.

Of course, God is always with us, but I also believe that God intends us to live in faithful community, so I feel we should always try to remember that our steps are not just our own. Every step moves us closer to someone, and if we aren't careful, farther away from someone that we never meant to leave behind.

Who have you left behind? Sometimes we walk toward something we want, or think we want, and never look back to see who we might have left standing in our dust.

I never think that God intends for us to prosper or grow or evolve at the expense of another person, or even at the expense of a relationship. Jesus commands us to love others in the same way we love ourselves. That means making sure that as we travel, as we move, we're not stepping on someone else's opportunity, or more importantly, their heart.

May we all move forward toward our dreams, being careful to hold on tightly to the hands of those we love, so we don't leave them behind.

Teresa

Glue and other lessons from Hart to Hart

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. Why do some relationships last while others flame out quickly? How do some people weather the inevitable storms that every relationship endures and come out the other side stronger, while others drown in the sea of emotion, betrayal, and disappointment? What makes a relationship really work? And I don't just mean romantic entanglements. I'm talking any relationship that has long-term value.

I remember a television show called Hart to Hart. I loved that show. Stephanie Powers as a beautiful, jet-setting journalist married to dashing self-made millionaire Robert Wagner, solving crime and mystery with their butler/housekeeper Max. This was the Big 80's at its best. Expensive cars, luxury hotels, fast boats, designer clothes, huge hair, but the Harts were grounded, right? I mean, they adopted Freeway, a cute little stray dog they found on the, well, freeway, in L.A. But in my impressionable youth, it wasn't the clothes or the cars or the champagne or the opulent vacations or the private jet that so enthralled me. Well, okay, the private jet was very cool. No, what kept me glued to our tv set every week was the relationship between Jonathan and Jennifer Hart. No matter how much evidence to the contrary, no matter how incriminating, no matter how far-fetched, they absolutely trusted each other without reservation. They defended each other even when every fact pointed to another reality. If Jennifer told Jonathan that even in her drug-induced haze that there was a disappearing room in the hospital, then Jonathan believed her. He was her champion. She was his biggest fan. The glue that held them together was trust.

So much is out there to undermine trust in relationships. People are so fragile, and so fallible, and so weak. It's easy to disappoint, or betray, or lose confidence in another person. Our expectations are both ridiculously high, and heartbreakingly low. But sometimes, every now and then, two people get it right, and it's magic. It can happen between lovers or friends or in families. It can happen in the work place. It can happen in crisis. It can happen over the course of a lifetime. But, it happens. And when it does, it's exquisite.

I wonder, sometimes, if we are interested in building and nurturing that sort of radical trust in our relationships. I wonder, sometimes, how many of us are even worthy of that sort of radical trust. I wonder, a lot, if most of us even really believe those kinds of relationship are even possible.

Can you even imagine being that sort of champion for someone else? Can you even imagine having someone be that champion for you? Maybe if we could, we wouldn't be so bent on defending ourselves or staying on offense all the time. What a amazing life that would be.

From my "hart" to yours,
Teresa