Ash Wednesday

Hello friends. This is a re-run (with no commercial breaks!) of my blog post from 2008. A few of you are from traditions that do not observe Lent, so my hope is that this will give you a basic understanding of what today is about. Blessings for a holy Lent!
Teresa

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Lent-Ash Wednesday

Today is the first day of the season of Lent. There is a good bit of confusion about what Lent is, so over the next 40 days leading up to Easter, I will share with you some of the history of Lent, but more importantly, I will offer you some suggestions about how to observe Lent and why I think it's important. I will make these musings brief, and encourage you to send me any questions you may have.

Lent originated in the 4th century, and was initially a time for people who were to be baptized at Easter to prepare for their baptism. Since baptism is an act of introduction into a community of faith, (more on this when I do my series on baptism!), the entire community was called to this "time of preparation." Additionally, those people who had been removed from the fellowship of the church (for a number of reasons that are not particularly important for us to get into at this time) were also called to this time of self-examination, prayer, fasting, and introspection before their re-introduction to the church.

Many of you know that today is Ash Wednesday, and you may see people walking around with black marks on their foreheads! Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, and the ashes symbolize our humility before God, and our recognition that we are mortal. It is a time when we reflect on what we need to change in our lives in order to be the person that God intends us to be, to live responsibly and lovingly as a member of the created world. I hope you'll join me as we look more deeply at the observance of Lent over the next 40 days, take a fearless moral inventory of our lives, and look for ways to find more love, peace, and fulfillment in our lives. I look forward to making this journey with each of you.

A Change of Seasons

Our hostas and lilies are beginning to poke up through the soil. I love this time of year when the garden begins to come alive with new growth. But it also signals a time to re-evaluate things. For instance, the hosta bed by the mailbox is too crowded. It was uncomfortably so last season, and I can tell already that we need to divide the plants this year. I'm always a little worried about dividing plants. I worry that I won't space the re-plants well and I'll have gaps. I worry I might damage a plant in the process and lose it. If I decide on a new garden design, I worry it won't look as good as the old one. I fret over the garden.

Ultimately, I get out the shovel and go at it, and yes, I occasionally lose a plant, and I'm sad, but I can honestly say that each year, our garden gets more beautiful.

So I dig and re-vision. I divide and re-plant. And then I have plants to share with friends.

Church is a lot like that. In the past 3 years, we have created something really beautiful at Sacred Tapestry. We have worked and cultivated and fertilized and grown something that has been a joy and a blessing to many. Now, we're getting a bit crowded. It's time to think about a plan for moving forward. And that's a little intimidating.

But I don't see it as division. I see it as multiplication. I see it as creating new worship experiences to share with more people, and that's exciting.

Healthy growth blesses us so that we can bless others. We get to share.

Here is to a new season of growth and health!

Teresa

No Man Left Behind

I don't come from a military family. My cousin is career Air Force and my step-father was career Navy, but retired before I ever met him. But I've always heard the expression "no man left behind" in the context that a good soldier never leaves a comrade on the battlefield, and I've always admired that concept.

I vacillate between two extremes. Upon occasion, I feel that we make the journey that is our life essentially alone. Yes, sometimes we have company along the way, but often, for some people, the real journey is a pretty solitary one. Other times, I affirm the idea that while our companions along the way may change at times, we journey together.

Of course, God is always with us, but I also believe that God intends us to live in faithful community, so I feel we should always try to remember that our steps are not just our own. Every step moves us closer to someone, and if we aren't careful, farther away from someone that we never meant to leave behind.

Who have you left behind? Sometimes we walk toward something we want, or think we want, and never look back to see who we might have left standing in our dust.

I never think that God intends for us to prosper or grow or evolve at the expense of another person, or even at the expense of a relationship. Jesus commands us to love others in the same way we love ourselves. That means making sure that as we travel, as we move, we're not stepping on someone else's opportunity, or more importantly, their heart.

May we all move forward toward our dreams, being careful to hold on tightly to the hands of those we love, so we don't leave them behind.

Teresa

Glue and other lessons from Hart to Hart

I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships. Why do some relationships last while others flame out quickly? How do some people weather the inevitable storms that every relationship endures and come out the other side stronger, while others drown in the sea of emotion, betrayal, and disappointment? What makes a relationship really work? And I don't just mean romantic entanglements. I'm talking any relationship that has long-term value.

I remember a television show called Hart to Hart. I loved that show. Stephanie Powers as a beautiful, jet-setting journalist married to dashing self-made millionaire Robert Wagner, solving crime and mystery with their butler/housekeeper Max. This was the Big 80's at its best. Expensive cars, luxury hotels, fast boats, designer clothes, huge hair, but the Harts were grounded, right? I mean, they adopted Freeway, a cute little stray dog they found on the, well, freeway, in L.A. But in my impressionable youth, it wasn't the clothes or the cars or the champagne or the opulent vacations or the private jet that so enthralled me. Well, okay, the private jet was very cool. No, what kept me glued to our tv set every week was the relationship between Jonathan and Jennifer Hart. No matter how much evidence to the contrary, no matter how incriminating, no matter how far-fetched, they absolutely trusted each other without reservation. They defended each other even when every fact pointed to another reality. If Jennifer told Jonathan that even in her drug-induced haze that there was a disappearing room in the hospital, then Jonathan believed her. He was her champion. She was his biggest fan. The glue that held them together was trust.

So much is out there to undermine trust in relationships. People are so fragile, and so fallible, and so weak. It's easy to disappoint, or betray, or lose confidence in another person. Our expectations are both ridiculously high, and heartbreakingly low. But sometimes, every now and then, two people get it right, and it's magic. It can happen between lovers or friends or in families. It can happen in the work place. It can happen in crisis. It can happen over the course of a lifetime. But, it happens. And when it does, it's exquisite.

I wonder, sometimes, if we are interested in building and nurturing that sort of radical trust in our relationships. I wonder, sometimes, how many of us are even worthy of that sort of radical trust. I wonder, a lot, if most of us even really believe those kinds of relationship are even possible.

Can you even imagine being that sort of champion for someone else? Can you even imagine having someone be that champion for you? Maybe if we could, we wouldn't be so bent on defending ourselves or staying on offense all the time. What a amazing life that would be.

From my "hart" to yours,
Teresa

Aligning our values with our actions

After only 4 days of being at home because of ice and snow, many people in Atlanta are getting "cabin fever" and making threats (joking I hope) about insisting that schools reopen and take their children, or taking about how bored they are. Now, I understand bored, because I have a very low boredom threshold, but I have not been the least bit bored these 4 days. I've had plenty to do.

I want to see where these bored, stir-crazy people live. They must have homes that are flawlessly organized and clean. They must have lots of leisure time to spend relaxing and enjoying family. They must get to surf the internet a lot because one person even claimed to have read everything on the web in the past 4 days.

I don't have that life. There is always a project waiting in the wings be it a closet that needs to be cleaned out or photos to be sorted, and I never, ever get to spend enough time with my husband or my children.

Most of us would claim that we wish we had more down time, that we want to spend more quality time with family, and yet, when the opportunity presents itself, as it has the past 4 days, many of the comments I've heard would indicate that what people really want is to get back to the office, and to eat more fast food, and to get away from the home fires as fast as they can. (There have been some notable exceptions to that, which has been wonderful to see!)

When I counsel couples for marriage, I always tell them that a lot of relationships get into trouble because the values we profess don't always match our actions. We say we want meaningful, intimate relationships, but we focus our time and energy on other things most of the time. We say we want quality time with our families, but often complain when we are "trapped" with them for even a few days.

Do your actions really align with your values? The past few days might be a litmus test for exactly that.

Stay warm and safe.
Teresa

Snow days and other rites of passage

This morning Atlanta awoke to 5 inches of snow and a city snuggled in (for the most part) for the day. These are the days I miss most since moving south to the ATL...snow days with my children filled with hot chocolate, warm cake, soup, sledding, movies, and board games. So this is heaven for me. Except...this snow day is different than any I've had, because for the first time, I only have one of my children at home. My daughter is snug in her own apartment, with her own hot chocolate, and her own soup, and her own banana bread. Okay, I made it for her, but still, she isn't here.

It's one of those good news/bad news sort of days. She's in college, making her own way in the world, grown up (or almost), independent, capable, and all those things we wish for our children. But she's not here, warm and safe in my house...

So, for me, today is both a great day for remembering all the fun snow days we've shared in the past 20 years, and for deciding to build some new memories with my son and my husband. No, it's not the same. It's different. It feels odd. But, it's okay. We're not empty-nesters yet, but I can see the writing on the wall, and I can't stop it from happening, so I'm celebrating the realization that I have a happy, healthy, independent daughter.

I think life is best lived with an attitude that while life may not bring today what we expect, or even what we want, there is an adventure in each day that presents opportunities for making new memories and new traditions. Even now, the three of us are sitting in the family room, each doing their own work, but together. And later, I'll text or phone the one who is now on her own, who is building her own memories of her first snow day in her own place, and I hope she's building some traditions and memories of her own. And I hope she's remembering the fun and the family she has, and dreaming of the opportunities of many snow days to come.

Each day brings a gift. It's all in how we see it.

Stay warm.
Teresa

Paying Yourself First

I've been thinking a lot about sabbath, longing really, and musing about how some of us aren't very good at observing it. Okay, I'm very guilty of that. I think partly it's a hard-wiring issue and partly it's out and out fear of leaving something undone.

But a wise man pointed out to me recently that even God rests, even Jesus went off alone, a lot, to commune with God, to simply rest his weary body, to pray, and to enjoy the company of friends. So, if even God and Jesus need some down time, then who am I to think I do not?

But you know, I'm not alone in my inability to simply rest. I see it in many of you. And even if you are good at it, you probably know someone you love who isn't.

So, I say let's all make a pact for 2011. Let's agree to slow it down, every now and then, and just enjoy life. Let's agree to gently but firmly encourage those we love to invest a little time in their own souls. We all know the wisdom that one should "pay oneself first" in financial matters, to put away a little in savings before you do anything else, and eventually it becomes a habit, and a healthy one at that. I say let's adopt that same attitude about rest and sabbath. Let's decide to set aside that time first, before we commit to everything else, before we take on a new project, before we schedule all the other obligations we have. Let's agree to set aside that time as holy, to see ourselves as important enough to schedule time to rest, to pray, to smell the roses, to spend time with those we love.

If it is good enough for God, then surely it will nourish our souls, right?

Shalom,
Teresa